The dreaded dumping syndrome

Just the other day I was proudly saying that I had not experience any vomiting or dumping syndrome. Famous last words.  I am actually surprised I lived to see another day.  It was that bad.  I got home from work last evening, fed the animals, but wasn't quite ready to eat.  I had some green grapes in the freezer and decided to have a few of them.  They were good, but after a few minutes my stomach started to cramp.  We're talking terrible cramps that double you over.  I also felt very nauseated and was sweating profusely. I thought I was going to faint. Not a good combination.  I went to the bathroom and sat doubled over with the trash can in front of me.  Finally, after about 45 minutes of this, I had massive diarrhea.  I won't go further with my description, but suffice to say, I won't be eating any more grapes.  I have had stomach cramps and diarrhea before, but nothing like this. I have heard other people who experienced this say that they thought they were having a heat attack.  I even did a paper on dumping syndrome while I was in nursing school, so I was familiar with the symptoms - just not first hand.  Usually what brings this on is eating concentrated sugars.  I had not done this.  The only thing I can think could have caused this was the skin on the grapes. Maybe my stomach couldn't tolerated it.  I have eaten fresh apple and pear, but I peeled it first.  We are told not to eat anything with a thick skin, but who would call a grape a thick skin.  Not me.  Anyway, the cramping lessened, but didn't go away and I spent most of the night in the bathroom.  My sweet little dog and kitties stayed right with me.  I think they were scared, too.  I woke up this morning feeling sore and washed out.  I have been better today, but most of the day didn't feel good.  I was really afraid to eat this morning, thinking it would happen again.  I did have some diarrhea this afternoon, but nothing like last night. I have been so good not to eat anything high in sugar in fear that this would happen.  Getting that sick is a great motivator not to break the rules.  I was good and it still happened.  Not fair!!  Yeah, I know...who said life was fair.  I told you in the beginning of this blog that I would tell the good and the bad.  Well, this was the bad.  The terrible  The awful.  Hopefully, I won't experience that again.

The good news is that I'm on my way to losing 100 pounds.  As of yesterday, I have lost 91 pounds.  Certainly this journey hasn't been without some distressing symptoms, but I wouldn't take back having the surgery.  It has been great losing so much weight, and I've learned a lot about myself in the process.  I still have a ways to go.  I hope, no, I know, I am going to be successful.

I'm going next week to see my orthopedist and hopefully get a cortisone injection in both knees.  Losing this weight has not lessened that pain.  Another motivator in continuing to lose weight so I can eventually have knee replacements.

I hope my next post will be free of yucky side affects.  Let me say again how wonderful it is to live with animals, especially for those of you who do not have pets.  They knew something was very wrong and refused to leave me alone.  That's love.

Until next time,
woof, meow x 2 and xoxo from me and my gang.

Surprised emotion in this journey

There is so much more to weight loss than just weight loss.  It brings up emotions that I didn't expect.  Grief for one.  You might say, how could that be?  It doesn't really make sense.  But, really, it does.  I didn't expect grief to be part of the process, but I'm not sure what else to call what I feel.  Eating was a great comfort for me.  If I was feeling bad about something, I could eat certain foods and soothe myself.  I would eat as a reward, too.  If I felt good about something I accomplished or was just having a good day, a special food made it even better.  Now, I know this is not the right way to feel about food, but it is a fact.  Food is to nourish our bodies.  But, it is more than that for many of us.  I don't think I'm alone in this.  I have discovered that many of those feel good foods, I am now not able to tolerate.They make me feel bad instead of good or comforted by them. This is sad in a way, but also optimistic.  I now have to find new ways besides eating to comfort myself.  Also, I need to find new ways to celebrate victories in my life. This is not so easy, when eating is part of many of our ways of celebration.  I have talked of this before. I am just discovering this is so personal for me. It is a grieving process to let go of old habits.  It's hard.  I've found it is also a big part of this process.  I'm working on this daily. I don't have all the answers.

So, I'm so pleased to be losing weight, but also feeling sadness in letting go.

More discoveries to come, I am sure.

Until then,
woof, meow and xoxo from me and my gang.