Let me start off by saying, I have been writing this new blog update for the past hour and was almost finished and then I somehow pushed a button and erased it. Hollering and a few choice words later, I am starting again.
I have to admit that I had to go back and read the last installment because it has been way too long since I last posted. I could blame the holidays and being busy, which I have been, but it's not a very good excuse. I will do better. I will.
I will start off with good news. Last post, Thanksgiving time, I had lost 44 lbs. As of today, which is not my normal weigh in day, I have lost 52 lbs. Wednesday is the weigh in day for me, but I wanted an accurate weight to tell you. I am so considerate to weigh early, just so you will know the most current numbers. Obviously, I am very pleased with the results. I also tried on a new size of pants today - 3 sizes smaller than where I started - and to my suprise, they fit. I am also down a bra cup size and am on the last hooks of the bra. My tops are all too big, but I haven't tried new sizes yet. My clothes are all baggy, and to tell the truth, I need to buy some new sizes, but baggy feels pretty good. Only an overweight person will understand this. I'll get around to getting some new, but only temporary different sizes. I have not been to any thrift store, mainly because I'm afraid I will not find anything that will fit. Even with weight loss, I am nervous about being in smaller sizes.
More good news. I have joined a gym. I would have liked to have joined the fitness center in town, which has a pool, but I can't afford their prices. I also don't have a bathing suit, and I'm not sure I'm ready to buy and be seen in one. The gym I have joined has a lot of equipment, is clean, has 24/7 hours and is cheaper. Also, my brother is going with me. It's good to have an exercise buddy and we have encouraged each other to stick with it. We planned to go 3 times a week, but have only made it twice a week, so far. We are doing 30 minute sessions, which is pretty good for 2 slugs who were doing no exercise other than walking the dogs. We will get to 3 times a week, I am sure. I have been doing 15 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the stationary bike. Already, I have seen some changes. Last week, I increased my walking speed and added some arm exercise to my cycling. Yahoo for us!
This past weekend, I went to Charleston and for the first time since my surgery, I ate out in a restaurant. New and different experience. My eyes were bigger than my stomach and I order too much food. It's hard to go from eating big meals of whatever you want to eating very small meals of healthy food. I did well and did not overeat, and therefore had a lot left over. I just asked for a "to go" box and ate what was left for the next meal. I had some new foods and seemed to tolerate them ok. I did have a small bite or two of some foods that were not my best choices. But, that's all. I was able to taste and then say "no" to the rest. I am proud of that. A couple of tiny bites of pancakes and mashed potatoes will not kill me. They were good, but I was satified with only a little taste. I ate my protein first and there was little room for anything else. My first restaurant experience was a success. Hooray for me!
In the last post, I also said I was leaving my part time job. This has changed, too. I decided that I can continue to work there while looking for something better. I do love my patient, and I might as well be smart about this and make some money while looking for greener pastures. I believe losing some weight has made me a little wiser and a little more patient.....but only a little.
Also, I have finally found a protein powder that I can tolerated. I have tried a lot of different powders and most of them were terrible. My taste did change after surgery, and what was good before was awful after. Isopure is the winner. It is 50 grams of protein versus the 21 grams of the one I was using with the same amount of fluid to drink. Definately a plus. It is low is carbs, calories and the chocolate does not make me want to gag. Another big plus. Finally, I am able to get closer to the amount of protein I am required to have a day. Still working on getting in all that water. I'm doing better. I do not want my hair to fall out or to lose muscle mass. I consider my hair and my muscle pretty important.
I think that about updates you on the most recent changes. I think 2012 is ending pretty well. Looking forward to 2013 and a new me in lots of ways.
Until next post, which I promise will be sooner,
woof from Phoebe, mewo x 2 from Hannah and Houdini and xoxo from me.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Thanksgiving, a doc visit, leaving a job, a unstuck scale
From the title you can tell a lot has happened in the few weeks. First off, I celebrated my second holiday since surgery - that's if you count Halloween...and I certainly do. Any holiday where I passed up a buch of candy is a holiday to count! Thanksgiving was last Thursday and I celebrated with my extended family, the Larsons. They had a big spread and I was very good and stuck right to my plan. I ate a couple of ounces of turkey and I took 1/2 cup of a vegtable that I could eat. I concentrated on my meal and the conversation at the table and not what everybody else was eating. It all went find. I didn't really feel like I was missing out on anything. Well, to be honest, I would have liked to had some dressing and gravy, but I resisted. I had orginally thought that I would stay home and not participated in a meal, but that is not what I need to be doing. I need to be a part of the real world even if I can't eat the way everybody else does. Two holidays down and two to go. I'll make it.
I went back to see my surgeon for my 5 week post surgery visit and all was well. I had some concerns but he settled those for me. I'll tell you what they were only as a learning situation. Normally, I would not discuss my bowel habits, but this is sort of important. They tell you early on that after surgery you will either have diarrhea or be constipated. I won in the constipation arena. No sign of poop unless I take a laxative. The surgeon suggests good old Milk of Magnesia. I have childhood nightmares of MOM (for short). It was my mother's laxative of choice and the cure for most anything was wrong with you. My mother's theory was that if you didn't feel good, it was because you needed a "good cleaning out". After being a nurse for 25 years, I know that you can not feel well for many OTHER reasons.....but a "good cleaning out" never hurt anybody. Anyway, the good doc suggest I take a fiber supplement. He did say that he knew I was eating the right things because a diet high in protein will make you constipated. I guess that was a compliment. I was also concerned because I would get this "stuck feeling" in the middle of my chest, like my food was not going down. I asked him what that feeling meant and he said, "that means your mean is over". I think I had mentioned that you can get an esophageal stricture and need to have your esophagus stretched. According to the doc, that is only when you have that "stuck feeling" all the time. The occasional feeling I feel is probably a sign that I am full. You might think that would be easy to tell, but it isn't. Lastly, in the afternoon I get nauseated and puny feeling. He wasn't completely sure about that one, but thinks it might be that I'm not drinking enough and it could be dehydration. That is a good possibility. So, I'm trying drink more, especially in the afternoon. The good news is that I now have no physical restrictions and don't have to see him again for 5 months. He told me that he probably wouldn't recognize me the next time he sees me. I told him that I was going to be soooo cute and he told me I was already cute. Besides the fact that he is a talented surgeon, this is the real reason I love this guy. Herman, my brother, says that is the only reason I like him so much. This is not completely true. But, granted, I do like being told of my cuteness. He did tell me that I needed to bump up my exercise a notch and get that heartbeat up and sweat a little. I could choose not to like him as much because of that statement, but it's hard to deny that he is right about that. I do walk Phoebe, but even I know that is not enough. So, I'm working on getting in some more exercise.
Even though I am on disability, I have been working a few hours a week to keep my brain from turning to mush. I'm pretty sure I have talked about working with a young woman/girl who has severe cerebral palse. The job is not really a nursing job, although the other ladies and I do nursing care for her. I am the only one of her caretakers who has a nursing degree. The job title is habitational tech which means you don't get paid anywhere near a nurse's salary. Moving on. While I have been out because of surgery, I discovered that another person was hired on making more money than me. This person, who I do not know, unfortunately told someone else her salary. Big mistake. I went to the supervisor and confronted her with this only to get a suprising answer. She said I should have asked for more money. I had been led to believe that there was no money because part of our pay had just been cut. Turns out, I was wrong. Now, I have been working for this agency for a year and this makes me feel that I have been being used. Maybe I was just being stupid, but I honestly thought from what were were being told that there was no money for increases in salary. Then, they go and hire someone else making more than me. That will never do. I have more experience and I've been there longer. It's time to go. I do love this patient. But, to be honest, I have been getting bored and was frequently frustrated with the surroundings of my work there. I've been unhappy there for a while. It's not all about the money or rank. That just gave me a good reason to leave - not that I really needed one. I'm working out a notice and then looking for something else where I can utilize my skills. I know this has nothing to do with my weight loss, but in a way it does. I hope to one day be able to get back into nursing. This may be a step in that direction. Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out.
Lastly, my scale is not broken afterall. I went for 10 days and the scales did not move. That is very frustrating, even though I have lost a lot of weight already. Finally, I got a drop of 4 pounds last week. This makes 44 lbs less of me. My clothes are getting baggy. The nurse at the surgeons office and the surgeon himself told me that this is normal. Sometimes the scale doesn't show a loss, but you are still losing inches. I did not measure before surgery mainly because I didn't want to know those numbers. Other weight loss buds tell me that it helps to measure when the scale is not moving. Oh well.....too late for that. I can tell I'm losing even if those scales don't say it every time I step on them. I'm making progress. Hooray for me.
That is enough for now. I may have rambled on so excuse me. I'll try and blog more often so the entries won't be so long.
Stay tune for more adventures.
Woof, meow x 2 and xoxoxo from Bonnie (the shrinking woman)
I went back to see my surgeon for my 5 week post surgery visit and all was well. I had some concerns but he settled those for me. I'll tell you what they were only as a learning situation. Normally, I would not discuss my bowel habits, but this is sort of important. They tell you early on that after surgery you will either have diarrhea or be constipated. I won in the constipation arena. No sign of poop unless I take a laxative. The surgeon suggests good old Milk of Magnesia. I have childhood nightmares of MOM (for short). It was my mother's laxative of choice and the cure for most anything was wrong with you. My mother's theory was that if you didn't feel good, it was because you needed a "good cleaning out". After being a nurse for 25 years, I know that you can not feel well for many OTHER reasons.....but a "good cleaning out" never hurt anybody. Anyway, the good doc suggest I take a fiber supplement. He did say that he knew I was eating the right things because a diet high in protein will make you constipated. I guess that was a compliment. I was also concerned because I would get this "stuck feeling" in the middle of my chest, like my food was not going down. I asked him what that feeling meant and he said, "that means your mean is over". I think I had mentioned that you can get an esophageal stricture and need to have your esophagus stretched. According to the doc, that is only when you have that "stuck feeling" all the time. The occasional feeling I feel is probably a sign that I am full. You might think that would be easy to tell, but it isn't. Lastly, in the afternoon I get nauseated and puny feeling. He wasn't completely sure about that one, but thinks it might be that I'm not drinking enough and it could be dehydration. That is a good possibility. So, I'm trying drink more, especially in the afternoon. The good news is that I now have no physical restrictions and don't have to see him again for 5 months. He told me that he probably wouldn't recognize me the next time he sees me. I told him that I was going to be soooo cute and he told me I was already cute. Besides the fact that he is a talented surgeon, this is the real reason I love this guy. Herman, my brother, says that is the only reason I like him so much. This is not completely true. But, granted, I do like being told of my cuteness. He did tell me that I needed to bump up my exercise a notch and get that heartbeat up and sweat a little. I could choose not to like him as much because of that statement, but it's hard to deny that he is right about that. I do walk Phoebe, but even I know that is not enough. So, I'm working on getting in some more exercise.
Even though I am on disability, I have been working a few hours a week to keep my brain from turning to mush. I'm pretty sure I have talked about working with a young woman/girl who has severe cerebral palse. The job is not really a nursing job, although the other ladies and I do nursing care for her. I am the only one of her caretakers who has a nursing degree. The job title is habitational tech which means you don't get paid anywhere near a nurse's salary. Moving on. While I have been out because of surgery, I discovered that another person was hired on making more money than me. This person, who I do not know, unfortunately told someone else her salary. Big mistake. I went to the supervisor and confronted her with this only to get a suprising answer. She said I should have asked for more money. I had been led to believe that there was no money because part of our pay had just been cut. Turns out, I was wrong. Now, I have been working for this agency for a year and this makes me feel that I have been being used. Maybe I was just being stupid, but I honestly thought from what were were being told that there was no money for increases in salary. Then, they go and hire someone else making more than me. That will never do. I have more experience and I've been there longer. It's time to go. I do love this patient. But, to be honest, I have been getting bored and was frequently frustrated with the surroundings of my work there. I've been unhappy there for a while. It's not all about the money or rank. That just gave me a good reason to leave - not that I really needed one. I'm working out a notice and then looking for something else where I can utilize my skills. I know this has nothing to do with my weight loss, but in a way it does. I hope to one day be able to get back into nursing. This may be a step in that direction. Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out.
Lastly, my scale is not broken afterall. I went for 10 days and the scales did not move. That is very frustrating, even though I have lost a lot of weight already. Finally, I got a drop of 4 pounds last week. This makes 44 lbs less of me. My clothes are getting baggy. The nurse at the surgeons office and the surgeon himself told me that this is normal. Sometimes the scale doesn't show a loss, but you are still losing inches. I did not measure before surgery mainly because I didn't want to know those numbers. Other weight loss buds tell me that it helps to measure when the scale is not moving. Oh well.....too late for that. I can tell I'm losing even if those scales don't say it every time I step on them. I'm making progress. Hooray for me.
That is enough for now. I may have rambled on so excuse me. I'll try and blog more often so the entries won't be so long.
Stay tune for more adventures.
Woof, meow x 2 and xoxoxo from Bonnie (the shrinking woman)
Friday, November 9, 2012
Odds and ends - and a little bragging
Thought it was about time for another update as to what's going on. I am trying to relax more and just settle in to my new life. I'm still experimenting on the best time to eat lunch and dinner. Breakfast is a given. Thirty minutes after I eat breakfast, I take my morning meds. I think last time I was whinning about how awful the vitimins taste. The one I hate the most is the calcium citrate and I have to take it 3 times a day. It is chocolate flavored chalk. I discovered they sell a "chewy bite" calcium that is like eating a soft candy. I have ordered them and hope they will taste better that the chalk. I have tasted one in a sample pack and it was good. The other vitamins I can tolerate and I don't take so many times a day. I'm usually not ready for lunch at noon, but I'm try to have it by 2pm. I'm sure I mentioned that the protein powder I am using now makes me want to gag. I have ordered some samples of other powders and I'm in the process of sampling new flavors. I had a chocolate/peanutbutter yesterday that wasn't too bad. I'm supposed to have a protein shake for lunch, so I've got to find something that I can get down. I've been eating dinner about 7pm, but I sometimes get that "low blood sugar" feeling before that. It is sort of a nauseated, hungry feeling. The obvious thing would be to just move dinner back to 6pm, but that's not a good time. When I start back to work, I will be getting off at 6. I'm not supposed to eat between meals or I think I could have a little snack to get me to 7. I tried drinking water, but it didn't help much. I'll figure it out.
The other thing I'm struggling with is a feeling that my food is stuck in the middle of my chest, and not going down. It doesn't hurt, it's just a little unsettling. I know that there is a possibility of having an esophageal stricture after surgery. When the surgeon is making your new stomach (pouch), they tighten up the opening of where the esophagus meets your stomach. It makes it harder for the food to pass through. It is easily fixed by having an endoscopy and stretching the esophagus a little. The only problem with that is the endoscopy has to be done in the hospital as an outpatient. I really don't want to do that, but I guess I'll do what has to be done. I see the surgeon again on Nov. 21. I guess I'll see what he has to say about it then. The feeling evetually goes away, but it takes a while. I have talked to others who have this same feeling, so I know it's nothing serious.
Last of all, let be brag a little. I know it's not Wednesday, which was the day I was only going to weigh, but I found myself weighing this morning. 39 pounds as of today. That's pretty spectacular! That is since I started my preop diet on Oct. 2. The jeans I have on are getting pretty baggy and that's a great feeling. I've got to stop weighing so often, though. I went a day or 2 with no loss on the scale and got discouraged. I may have to take my scales down to my brother's house and that way I can't just weigh whenever I want. I don't need to make myself discouraged when I know that weight fluctuates from day to day.
I've been putting off going to the support group in Gainesville. It is a long way to go, but I know I need the support of other people who are experiencing the same things I am. I have found a forum on the computer that is just for the people who had the same surgery I have had. You can ask questions and get a variety of answers. It's been good, but I know that it would be helpful to talk to people in person for support, too. I am going on Tues. evening. No excuses.
That's it, I guess. I've not gone back to my part time job, yet, but I'm thinking about the week of Thanksgiving to start back. I've really been taking it easy, but I know that getting back into a routine will be helpful, too. I will not over do, but start off easy. I certainly don't want to mess anything up.
Until next time,
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie
The other thing I'm struggling with is a feeling that my food is stuck in the middle of my chest, and not going down. It doesn't hurt, it's just a little unsettling. I know that there is a possibility of having an esophageal stricture after surgery. When the surgeon is making your new stomach (pouch), they tighten up the opening of where the esophagus meets your stomach. It makes it harder for the food to pass through. It is easily fixed by having an endoscopy and stretching the esophagus a little. The only problem with that is the endoscopy has to be done in the hospital as an outpatient. I really don't want to do that, but I guess I'll do what has to be done. I see the surgeon again on Nov. 21. I guess I'll see what he has to say about it then. The feeling evetually goes away, but it takes a while. I have talked to others who have this same feeling, so I know it's nothing serious.
Last of all, let be brag a little. I know it's not Wednesday, which was the day I was only going to weigh, but I found myself weighing this morning. 39 pounds as of today. That's pretty spectacular! That is since I started my preop diet on Oct. 2. The jeans I have on are getting pretty baggy and that's a great feeling. I've got to stop weighing so often, though. I went a day or 2 with no loss on the scale and got discouraged. I may have to take my scales down to my brother's house and that way I can't just weigh whenever I want. I don't need to make myself discouraged when I know that weight fluctuates from day to day.
I've been putting off going to the support group in Gainesville. It is a long way to go, but I know I need the support of other people who are experiencing the same things I am. I have found a forum on the computer that is just for the people who had the same surgery I have had. You can ask questions and get a variety of answers. It's been good, but I know that it would be helpful to talk to people in person for support, too. I am going on Tues. evening. No excuses.
That's it, I guess. I've not gone back to my part time job, yet, but I'm thinking about the week of Thanksgiving to start back. I've really been taking it easy, but I know that getting back into a routine will be helpful, too. I will not over do, but start off easy. I certainly don't want to mess anything up.
Until next time,
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
And it started off such a good day ~
Today started off such a good day. I've decided to make Wednesday my day to weigh. I know that your weight will fluctuate from day to day, which could make you discouraged, so I've decided to only weigh once a week. From Oct. 2, when I started my pre-op diet to today, I have lost 35.1 lbs. That's really mind boggling to me. Then, when I think about how little I am eating, maybe not so amazing. What does still suprise me is how little it takes to make me feel full - in fact, stuffed. I know I have talked about having to get in 75 grams of protein in a day, and the only way to do that is to use a protein powder supplement at least twice a day. Since me surgery, the stuff just doesn't taste as good to me. They said that might happen with some foods, but I need this supplement. I usually make a shake for lunch with skim milk and 2 scoops of protein powder. Chocolate is the best by far, but I bought these other flavors and I'm trying to use them. Maybe, not anymore. I fixed a strawberry shake for lunch today and it just was not all that good to me. I made myself finish it, which was the mistake. I won't do that again. All afternoon I have felt too full and nauseated on top of that. Live and learn. I think the strawberry will go to the back of the pantry. I can put a scoop of protein powder in sugar free hot chocolate or sugar free yogert and can tolerate it a little better. I can use the vanilla to do this. Like I said, I've got to get the protein in and I cannot eat enough real protein yet to meet the magic number of 75. I look forward to that day, although they recommend you use the protein supplement for one meal a day for the first year. It's gonna be a long year.
I don't think I've mentioned that if you eat too fast or too much, you feel so stuffed. You also feel like the food is stuck in the middle of your chest. That is not very comfortable. The other day I ate some packaged lunch meat. You can get them at the grocery store that come in 2 ounce packages. Perfect, right? I can't have beef or pork, yet, so it's turkey and chicken. I can have tuna and salmon, too, but haven't tried it yet. You are supposed to try one new food at a time and I know these work for me. Anyway, I ate the package too fast, I guess and I was miserable for about an hour. I thought that feeling that it was stuck would never go away. It tasted so good. You have to be so careful. I haven't vomited yet, and hope not to, but a lot of people do (or so they say). I never dreamed that you can so easily take one extra bite and immediately know it was a mistake. Too full or that stuck in what feels like you chest feeling.
While I'm complaining, let me talk about the vitamins. They are not the best thing I have ever put in my mouth. I had to start them the first week after surgery. This is only the second week and I am already complaining about them. They are chewable. Not chewable like a caramel, but like a soft sweet tart, but chalky. I've mentioned before how many I have to take a day, so, I won't go into that again, but it's a lot. Again, I have to take them because I am not eating enough food to get in the vitamins and minerals my body needs. So, get over it, Bonnie. You've got to take them. I just needed to whine for a few minutes.
Less you think I am being tortured, I do get to eat a few things I enjoy. I can have an egg or 1/2 cup of grits for breakfast. I like both of those things. I love chicken and turkey and even if it has to be pureed or very soft, I can deal with that. It still taste good. I can also have sugar free yogert, but it comes in a very limited flavors. It's still good and I can add that terrible protein powder to it and it is pretty well disguised. I can have sugar free jello and sugar free pudding and even sugar free fudgesicles. So, you say, why are you whining? Because you just don't have room in your stomach to get all that stuff in. The 64 ounces of water I have to drink sees to that. I've got to learn how to give myself a treat every now and then without feeling stuffed. I will learn.
Thanks for listening. I am thrilled about the weight loss. It's just not all fun and games like you would thing.
Until next time, stay tuned for more exciting updates in my adventures in weight loss surgery and beyond.
Woof from Phoebe, meow x 2 from Hannah & Houdini and xoxo from Bonnie
Oh, yeah, and Happy Halloween! You can celebrate without candy. I am living proof.
I don't think I've mentioned that if you eat too fast or too much, you feel so stuffed. You also feel like the food is stuck in the middle of your chest. That is not very comfortable. The other day I ate some packaged lunch meat. You can get them at the grocery store that come in 2 ounce packages. Perfect, right? I can't have beef or pork, yet, so it's turkey and chicken. I can have tuna and salmon, too, but haven't tried it yet. You are supposed to try one new food at a time and I know these work for me. Anyway, I ate the package too fast, I guess and I was miserable for about an hour. I thought that feeling that it was stuck would never go away. It tasted so good. You have to be so careful. I haven't vomited yet, and hope not to, but a lot of people do (or so they say). I never dreamed that you can so easily take one extra bite and immediately know it was a mistake. Too full or that stuck in what feels like you chest feeling.
While I'm complaining, let me talk about the vitamins. They are not the best thing I have ever put in my mouth. I had to start them the first week after surgery. This is only the second week and I am already complaining about them. They are chewable. Not chewable like a caramel, but like a soft sweet tart, but chalky. I've mentioned before how many I have to take a day, so, I won't go into that again, but it's a lot. Again, I have to take them because I am not eating enough food to get in the vitamins and minerals my body needs. So, get over it, Bonnie. You've got to take them. I just needed to whine for a few minutes.
Less you think I am being tortured, I do get to eat a few things I enjoy. I can have an egg or 1/2 cup of grits for breakfast. I like both of those things. I love chicken and turkey and even if it has to be pureed or very soft, I can deal with that. It still taste good. I can also have sugar free yogert, but it comes in a very limited flavors. It's still good and I can add that terrible protein powder to it and it is pretty well disguised. I can have sugar free jello and sugar free pudding and even sugar free fudgesicles. So, you say, why are you whining? Because you just don't have room in your stomach to get all that stuff in. The 64 ounces of water I have to drink sees to that. I've got to learn how to give myself a treat every now and then without feeling stuffed. I will learn.
Thanks for listening. I am thrilled about the weight loss. It's just not all fun and games like you would thing.
Until next time, stay tuned for more exciting updates in my adventures in weight loss surgery and beyond.
Woof from Phoebe, meow x 2 from Hannah & Houdini and xoxo from Bonnie
Oh, yeah, and Happy Halloween! You can celebrate without candy. I am living proof.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Live and let live ~
No, I'm not about break into song about James Bond. I am going to talk about being excluded from activities because my lifestyle is drastically different. The way I am eating right now is not going to last forever. Well, in a way it is, because I will forever be eating small portions of only healthy food. But, for now, I am very limited to what I can eat because my body is healing. My surgeon says to think of my new stomach as you would a new born baby. At first, they can only tolerate breast milk/formula. They body is not ready to tolerate solid food. Then, they progress to cereal and then to pureed foods. As they grow and their body and digestive system matures, they can graduate to toddler foods, and then to regular table foods. That's me exactly. So, on with my story. Yesterday morning, I was running a few errands with my brother. He does not drive, so I'm his ride. He mentioned to me that he was spending the night at my sister's house. We live close to each other and watch out for each other. I always tell him if I am going to be away for a night or more - and he tells me the same. If I called him or went to his house and he was not there for an extended length of time, I would worry, and he would the same. I asked why he was spending the night and he said that he was going over to her house to watch movies and have dinner. They would come to pick him up and then bring him back home the next day. Diane makes wonderful chili and at halloween we usually get together and watch scary movies (the old ones are the best) and have chili and hot dogs. It's fun. We have done this for years. I asked why I wasn't invited. I was disappointed. He said he didn't know the reason. Well, not being one to be shy about anything, I said I was going to call her and ask her why I was being excluded. I did call her, and to make a long story short, her reasoning was that she did not want to invite me because she didn't want to eat in front of me. I can understand that they were going to have foods that I could not eat and she was trying to spare me having to watch them eat, but, she was also leaving me out of a family tradition and fun. That is not cool. The best thing to do was to call me and tell me about the dinner and ask me if I wanted to be a part of it because of my diet. There might have been a time when I would have rather stayed home and isolated myself because my life was so drastically different, but that is not the case. I am embracing this new life and want my life to be fuller because of it. I'm sure not everybody understands this, but it's true. I need to learn to be around people who eat differently than I do. If I were diabetic, I wouldn't think that I would be excluded from activities because of my diet. The same goes here. I did go to the dinner and it was all fine. They apologized for eating in front of me, but it was not necessary. I chose to do this and I can handle it. So, like I said to begin with, live and let live (not die, as in the case of James Bond).
I hope the story is helpful. It was for me to tell it. I don't think I need to say anymore.
Stay tuned for more. But for now,
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie and her furry family.
I hope the story is helpful. It was for me to tell it. I don't think I need to say anymore.
Stay tuned for more. But for now,
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie and her furry family.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
PROTEIN!!
I mentioned on facebook that I went for my 1 week post surgery appointment on Wednesday. Most of the people that follow my post also follow facebook, but not all, so bear with me is this is old news for you.
My post op appointment went well. My incisions look good, but I still have some soreness. I do get tired very easily. I was supposed to eat 1/2 of a soft egg before I went to the appointment to see if I could tolerate swallowing solid food. It went down and tasted so good. Even with only 1/2 of egg, I still have to take very small bites and chew it very well before I swallow. So, hooray, I now am on a pureed/soft diet for the next 6 weeks. The things you normally think of when you hear sof diet, I cannot have. No mashed potatoes, no macaroni and cheese, no ice cream and very little soup. I cannot have vegetables or fruit yet.. Protein is what I can have. Soft or pureed chicken and turkey. I can have tuna and salmon or other soft fish. I can have a very small amount (1/4 cup) of beans. The reason they limit soup is because it is a liquid that pretty much goes through your stomach fast and has little protein. I am supposed to have 75 - 80 grams of protein a day. That is a lot! I am still supposed to have the protein supplement for one meal a day. I have protein powder in chocolate, vanilla and strawberry that I can make into flavored skim milk or milk shake by adding ice in the blender. If I add 2 scoops to 8 ounces of skim milk I can get 42 grams. I also have a chicken soup flavor and a unflavored powder that is 21 grams per scoop. I can make a chicken broth with the chicken flavor and the unflavored I can add to just about any liquid. I have to have the other scoop to add the 21 grams. The 42 and 21 only equal 63 grams, so I still need 12 grams a day to make at least 75. Two ounces of canned chicken or I have found chicken and turkey sticks that are like vienna sausage that is actually a toddler food, that have 10 grams a serving. That gives me 85 grams and I am over the limit which is alright. Besides I tried to get down 2 ounces of chicken last night for supper and couldn't get it all down. So I figure I am about on target. I'm sure all that bored you to death, but I wanted to give you an idea of what I have to eat daily. Plus, I am supposed to get 64 ounces of water in a day, too. To complicate it even more, there is what they call the 30/30 rule. I cannot drink 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after I eat. If I drank before, I would fill my stomach up with fluids and there would be no room for food/protein. Afterwards, I need to digest what is in my stomach before I can have fluids again. I also have vitamins that I have to take daily. I take a multi-vitamin twice a day, a calcium tablet twice a day, iron once a day and B12 once a day. I just have to divide them up throughout the day. Plus, I have my regular medication I still have to take, too. Whew!! That's a lot to get down. I have been having a burning or irritating feeling in my stomach especially at bedtime. My surgeon said it was probably just irritation from healing that caused that, but just to be sure, he prescribed my a drug called Carafate. It is a liquid that you drink that coats the stomach. It is usually used to treat ulcers and that is certainly NOT want I want to get. I am drinking that at bedtime. I will see my surgeon again in a month to check up on that. Oh, and after all that, I have lost 23 lbs.!!
I am very pleased.
So now that you know my meal plans for the next 6 weeks. I am trying to walk a little more every day, but it does tired me out. Phoebe has been a great incentive to walk. She loves to go outside and run around. She certainly know the word "outside". She jumps down and starts to dance around on her hind legs and runs in circles. She is such a cutie. Hannah & Houdini watch from the windows. I think they are embarassed that she gets so excited. Such displayed emotions is certain not something a kitty would do. On a high note, I have seen them kiss noses with other and I saw Phoebe licking Houdini's ear - and he was letter her! We have made progress!
I did mention to the surgeon that I did not leave the hospital until 9pm on the night of discharge. He was furious. He said that when he orders a drug he expects it to be given "now", not 2 1/2 hours later. There was no excuse for that, he said, and he was going to follow up with his nursing staff. I did feel justified for pitching a little fit at the hospital after what he said. He thanked me for telling him, apologized for the delay in getting discharged. He said he would handle it. I hated to be a tattle tale, but, really......
I think that's about it for now. Stay tuned. This is such a learning process. No more grabbing something quickly to eat. I have to plan for everything.
Until next time,
woof from Phoebe, meow from Hannah & Houdini and xoxo from Bonnie
My post op appointment went well. My incisions look good, but I still have some soreness. I do get tired very easily. I was supposed to eat 1/2 of a soft egg before I went to the appointment to see if I could tolerate swallowing solid food. It went down and tasted so good. Even with only 1/2 of egg, I still have to take very small bites and chew it very well before I swallow. So, hooray, I now am on a pureed/soft diet for the next 6 weeks. The things you normally think of when you hear sof diet, I cannot have. No mashed potatoes, no macaroni and cheese, no ice cream and very little soup. I cannot have vegetables or fruit yet.. Protein is what I can have. Soft or pureed chicken and turkey. I can have tuna and salmon or other soft fish. I can have a very small amount (1/4 cup) of beans. The reason they limit soup is because it is a liquid that pretty much goes through your stomach fast and has little protein. I am supposed to have 75 - 80 grams of protein a day. That is a lot! I am still supposed to have the protein supplement for one meal a day. I have protein powder in chocolate, vanilla and strawberry that I can make into flavored skim milk or milk shake by adding ice in the blender. If I add 2 scoops to 8 ounces of skim milk I can get 42 grams. I also have a chicken soup flavor and a unflavored powder that is 21 grams per scoop. I can make a chicken broth with the chicken flavor and the unflavored I can add to just about any liquid. I have to have the other scoop to add the 21 grams. The 42 and 21 only equal 63 grams, so I still need 12 grams a day to make at least 75. Two ounces of canned chicken or I have found chicken and turkey sticks that are like vienna sausage that is actually a toddler food, that have 10 grams a serving. That gives me 85 grams and I am over the limit which is alright. Besides I tried to get down 2 ounces of chicken last night for supper and couldn't get it all down. So I figure I am about on target. I'm sure all that bored you to death, but I wanted to give you an idea of what I have to eat daily. Plus, I am supposed to get 64 ounces of water in a day, too. To complicate it even more, there is what they call the 30/30 rule. I cannot drink 30 minutes before or 30 minutes after I eat. If I drank before, I would fill my stomach up with fluids and there would be no room for food/protein. Afterwards, I need to digest what is in my stomach before I can have fluids again. I also have vitamins that I have to take daily. I take a multi-vitamin twice a day, a calcium tablet twice a day, iron once a day and B12 once a day. I just have to divide them up throughout the day. Plus, I have my regular medication I still have to take, too. Whew!! That's a lot to get down. I have been having a burning or irritating feeling in my stomach especially at bedtime. My surgeon said it was probably just irritation from healing that caused that, but just to be sure, he prescribed my a drug called Carafate. It is a liquid that you drink that coats the stomach. It is usually used to treat ulcers and that is certainly NOT want I want to get. I am drinking that at bedtime. I will see my surgeon again in a month to check up on that. Oh, and after all that, I have lost 23 lbs.!!
I am very pleased.
So now that you know my meal plans for the next 6 weeks. I am trying to walk a little more every day, but it does tired me out. Phoebe has been a great incentive to walk. She loves to go outside and run around. She certainly know the word "outside". She jumps down and starts to dance around on her hind legs and runs in circles. She is such a cutie. Hannah & Houdini watch from the windows. I think they are embarassed that she gets so excited. Such displayed emotions is certain not something a kitty would do. On a high note, I have seen them kiss noses with other and I saw Phoebe licking Houdini's ear - and he was letter her! We have made progress!
I did mention to the surgeon that I did not leave the hospital until 9pm on the night of discharge. He was furious. He said that when he orders a drug he expects it to be given "now", not 2 1/2 hours later. There was no excuse for that, he said, and he was going to follow up with his nursing staff. I did feel justified for pitching a little fit at the hospital after what he said. He thanked me for telling him, apologized for the delay in getting discharged. He said he would handle it. I hated to be a tattle tale, but, really......
I think that's about it for now. Stay tuned. This is such a learning process. No more grabbing something quickly to eat. I have to plan for everything.
Until next time,
woof from Phoebe, meow from Hannah & Houdini and xoxo from Bonnie
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Surgery over. Now the real work begins.
Five days post surgery so thought to was about time to bring you up to date on the happenings.
Surgery went well. As a nurse, I am probably not the best patient, but I thought I controlled myself fairly well until my IV came out Wed. morning. It needed to be put back in. My nurse and the new nurse who was working with her said it was fine and not to worry about it. But, I did, and with good reason. When my doc came in at 5pm to start to discharge me, I could not go because I could not pee. He said, "no worries, we'll give you some IV Lasix and that will take care of everything." It is then that I said, "no, we can't because my nurse today would not put my IV back in when it it came out." He then ordered Lasix by mouth and said that I could go when I went to the bathroom. 2 1/2 hours later when the night shift came on, I still had not gotten the pill I needed. I was furious. The night shift nurse went and got the medicine I needed and by 8:30 I finally went to the bathroom. I was discharged from the hospital about 9 PM. None of this was necessary and I could go on about it, but I won't. NE GA Medical was a fine hospital and did a great job, except for that one lazy nurse. Opps, I said I wasn't going to go on about it - and now, I won't.
Edel and I left the hospital and went to Larry & Charlotta's house which was only about 30 minutes away. Thank heavens Charlotta suggested we come to their house because the ride back to NC would not have been a very pleasant one. They got me all settled in as big comfy chair and slept there very well with the help of some pain meds. The next morning I was ready to go home, even though the invitation to stay as long as I needed was offered. Edel drove me home and amazingly I did not even feel any motion sickness on the way home. If this surgery cured my motion sickness, it would be worth it even if I never lost another pound. But, let's not get carried away.
Home again and happy to be there on Thursday early afternoon. Phoebe was thrilled to see me. The cats acted like they could care less, but I know they were happy, too. Except for the fact that I brought that little yappy dog back home with me. Edel helped get me settled in walked Phoebe for me. Friday afternoon, Edel headed back home because her niece was getting married on Sunday and the rehersal dinner was at her parent's home Saturday night. I assured her we would be fine, and we have been. Herman has come up in the late afternoon and taken Phoebe for a good walk for me.
Now for the gory details. We'll, not really. I have 5 incisions on my stomach from the surgery. Actually, I have 6, because one of them was where a drain was put in. It was pulled out before I left the hospital. Ther are steri-strips over all the incisions (steri strips are very small pieces of tape that help hold the incisions together). They will come off slowly as I shower. The incisions are sore and bruised, but nothing terrible. I have pain medication that I have been using and it helps. I'm really trying not to use it though, because it constipated me - as it will do anybody who takes a narcotic. That really is about the extent of it.. I had a cathether after surgery, but it was pulled out hours before I left the hospital, too. I won't get into that, because it would start me complaining about that one nurse again, so well, leave it at that. Really, my hospitalization was uneventful.
Now the real work begins. Because they reduced my stomach to the size of my thumb, (it holds 2-3 ounces at a time), and re-routed my small intestines, I have to eat/drink totally different. To give you an idea of what that means, an ounce is a little medicine cup, like you get with cough syrup. It is 30cc. My new stomach will only hold the 2-3 of those. That's it and no more. If you try and drink more, it is very uncomfortable. They said, to stay hydrated, I need to drink 1 of those little cups (one ounce) every 15 minutes. That's hard to do. It has been a challenge to drink enough. I don't have to worry about eating because I can't yet. My new stomach is very sensitive, so I have to be very careful.
You know what, I'm tired. I'll have to finish this new diet business later. But, it is a real learning experience. I'm not hungry at all so I have to make myself drink. That's hard. We'll go into that more later.
So, stay tuned. Phoebe and I are going to rest for a while.
Woof, meow and xoxox, from Bonnie.
Surgery went well. As a nurse, I am probably not the best patient, but I thought I controlled myself fairly well until my IV came out Wed. morning. It needed to be put back in. My nurse and the new nurse who was working with her said it was fine and not to worry about it. But, I did, and with good reason. When my doc came in at 5pm to start to discharge me, I could not go because I could not pee. He said, "no worries, we'll give you some IV Lasix and that will take care of everything." It is then that I said, "no, we can't because my nurse today would not put my IV back in when it it came out." He then ordered Lasix by mouth and said that I could go when I went to the bathroom. 2 1/2 hours later when the night shift came on, I still had not gotten the pill I needed. I was furious. The night shift nurse went and got the medicine I needed and by 8:30 I finally went to the bathroom. I was discharged from the hospital about 9 PM. None of this was necessary and I could go on about it, but I won't. NE GA Medical was a fine hospital and did a great job, except for that one lazy nurse. Opps, I said I wasn't going to go on about it - and now, I won't.
Edel and I left the hospital and went to Larry & Charlotta's house which was only about 30 minutes away. Thank heavens Charlotta suggested we come to their house because the ride back to NC would not have been a very pleasant one. They got me all settled in as big comfy chair and slept there very well with the help of some pain meds. The next morning I was ready to go home, even though the invitation to stay as long as I needed was offered. Edel drove me home and amazingly I did not even feel any motion sickness on the way home. If this surgery cured my motion sickness, it would be worth it even if I never lost another pound. But, let's not get carried away.
Home again and happy to be there on Thursday early afternoon. Phoebe was thrilled to see me. The cats acted like they could care less, but I know they were happy, too. Except for the fact that I brought that little yappy dog back home with me. Edel helped get me settled in walked Phoebe for me. Friday afternoon, Edel headed back home because her niece was getting married on Sunday and the rehersal dinner was at her parent's home Saturday night. I assured her we would be fine, and we have been. Herman has come up in the late afternoon and taken Phoebe for a good walk for me.
Now for the gory details. We'll, not really. I have 5 incisions on my stomach from the surgery. Actually, I have 6, because one of them was where a drain was put in. It was pulled out before I left the hospital. Ther are steri-strips over all the incisions (steri strips are very small pieces of tape that help hold the incisions together). They will come off slowly as I shower. The incisions are sore and bruised, but nothing terrible. I have pain medication that I have been using and it helps. I'm really trying not to use it though, because it constipated me - as it will do anybody who takes a narcotic. That really is about the extent of it.. I had a cathether after surgery, but it was pulled out hours before I left the hospital, too. I won't get into that, because it would start me complaining about that one nurse again, so well, leave it at that. Really, my hospitalization was uneventful.
Now the real work begins. Because they reduced my stomach to the size of my thumb, (it holds 2-3 ounces at a time), and re-routed my small intestines, I have to eat/drink totally different. To give you an idea of what that means, an ounce is a little medicine cup, like you get with cough syrup. It is 30cc. My new stomach will only hold the 2-3 of those. That's it and no more. If you try and drink more, it is very uncomfortable. They said, to stay hydrated, I need to drink 1 of those little cups (one ounce) every 15 minutes. That's hard to do. It has been a challenge to drink enough. I don't have to worry about eating because I can't yet. My new stomach is very sensitive, so I have to be very careful.
You know what, I'm tired. I'll have to finish this new diet business later. But, it is a real learning experience. I'm not hungry at all so I have to make myself drink. That's hard. We'll go into that more later.
So, stay tuned. Phoebe and I are going to rest for a while.
Woof, meow and xoxox, from Bonnie.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Celebration Day
It's finally here! Tomorrow morning Edel, my support person and best bud, and I leave for the hospital. Surgery is scheduled at 11:55am. I'm as prepared as I'm going to be. I feel confident that this is a life changing event. I have so many friends who are supporting me and I am grateful. My brother, Herman, is going to take care of Phoebe at his house and he will come up to my house and feed Hannah & Houdini. They are in good hands. Hope I can get some sleep tonight, I'm so excited.
I entitled this post "celebration day" because it is going to be the beginning of a new adventure. There are going to be lots of celebration days along the way as goals are met. I'm sure the coming days and months won't all be banner days, but I am determine that I am going to be a healthier Bonnie.
See you on the flip side.
Stay tune. This adventure is just beginning.
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie
I entitled this post "celebration day" because it is going to be the beginning of a new adventure. There are going to be lots of celebration days along the way as goals are met. I'm sure the coming days and months won't all be banner days, but I am determine that I am going to be a healthier Bonnie.
See you on the flip side.
Stay tune. This adventure is just beginning.
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie
Friday, October 12, 2012
Questions, questions.....
Just recently, I was asked a couple of questions that I'd like to address. I certainly welcome anything that people are wondering about and want to ask. Bring it on.
Someone asked: If you are losing weight on a liquid diet, why have the surgery? Good question, but I don't want to drink for the rest of my life. I'd like to have something to chew again. Chewing food is good and natural. If I were to lose all the weight I want on a liquid diet, most likely when I started eating solid food again, I would start to gain again. Part of the reason for the surgery is to help you learn to eat small portions of food and feel satisfied while doing it. As I mentioned in my first post, I have dieted my entire life. I have lost a lot of weight in those years only to gain it back, and more. The person who asked this question did not say this, but I would be willing to bet that there are some people who would say, "It's only a matter of willpower. Just do it!" Anyone who would asked this has obviously not had a problem with their weight or ever dieted. It's hard. It's only natural to want to eat and be a part of "the social world". Eating is a part of everything we do. Go on a date: go out to dinner. Get together with friends: meet at a restaurant. Go to a party: sit down dinner or lots of snacking. Go to the movies: eat snacks. Fellowship at church: eating dinner on the grounds. Even after a funeral, what do you do? You take food to the family and get together for a meal. It's everywhere! Also, being a certain body type is part of heredity. Certain, you can change your own path, but it's in your genes. It's also what you are learned as a child. You grow up eating a certain way and it sticks with you. Not to say again, you can't change the way you were raised - and I certainly have, but it's still a challenge. People eat for a lot of reasons: boredom, anxiety, happiness, sadness. I'd sure I've done them all. Let's face it. Life if hard and eating is sometimes a panacea for out pain. This surgery is a tool, not a cure for obesity. I can still eat whatever I want and as much as I want. My mouth is not being sewn shut. But, because of the size of my new stomach, it will make me very uncomfortable and even get sick if I eat too much - or the wrong kind of food. The way my body metabolizes food, especially sugars, will change. Again, it's a tool to keep me on track. So, that is some of the reasons why I will have the surgery. I'm sure I've forgotten to mention it all. If this answer sounds harsh, I don't mean it to. I just know I need all the help I can get, and this surgery is a way help me achieve my goal of a healthy way of eating.
The other question asked was: If the surgeon is making you a new smaller stomach by portioning off a part of your stomach, what happens to the rest of your original stomach? Do they take it out during the surgery, or why would they just leave it in your body? Good question. You would think it would be something usless in your body. Why not just take it out. But, it's not. The remainder of your "old" stomach still works. It continues to make enzymes to digest your food. Yes, you have a new smaller stomach and your small intestines are re-routed to the new stomach, but you still need those enzymes from the "old" stomach. Your old stomach still empties those good enzymes back into your intestines and it all is reconnected on down the line of your small intestines. This is where I need a model of our "innerds" to show you what I mean. It certainly helped me understand it better. Maybe that explaination will help you understand.
Like I said before, I am not offended by questions you might have. Believe me, I have probably thought the same questions myself. Ask me. I don't need you to understand, but I want you to.
I'm another day closer. The liquid diet has gotten easier. I'm not as hungry as I was to begin with, or as nauseated. It's all part of the plan to make me healthier before surgery. I think I did mention that the reason they have you go on a liquid diet is to reduce the size of your liver. Our liver is a big organ and is right in the way of where the surgery is performed. Making it smaller, helps the surgeon get to the area they need. Also, taking in much smaller portions gives you good practice for when you start to drink, and then eat again. My new stomach will only hold 2-3 ounces at a time.
More to say later I'm sure. For now, stay tuned.
Woof, meow and xoxox from Bonnie
Someone asked: If you are losing weight on a liquid diet, why have the surgery? Good question, but I don't want to drink for the rest of my life. I'd like to have something to chew again. Chewing food is good and natural. If I were to lose all the weight I want on a liquid diet, most likely when I started eating solid food again, I would start to gain again. Part of the reason for the surgery is to help you learn to eat small portions of food and feel satisfied while doing it. As I mentioned in my first post, I have dieted my entire life. I have lost a lot of weight in those years only to gain it back, and more. The person who asked this question did not say this, but I would be willing to bet that there are some people who would say, "It's only a matter of willpower. Just do it!" Anyone who would asked this has obviously not had a problem with their weight or ever dieted. It's hard. It's only natural to want to eat and be a part of "the social world". Eating is a part of everything we do. Go on a date: go out to dinner. Get together with friends: meet at a restaurant. Go to a party: sit down dinner or lots of snacking. Go to the movies: eat snacks. Fellowship at church: eating dinner on the grounds. Even after a funeral, what do you do? You take food to the family and get together for a meal. It's everywhere! Also, being a certain body type is part of heredity. Certain, you can change your own path, but it's in your genes. It's also what you are learned as a child. You grow up eating a certain way and it sticks with you. Not to say again, you can't change the way you were raised - and I certainly have, but it's still a challenge. People eat for a lot of reasons: boredom, anxiety, happiness, sadness. I'd sure I've done them all. Let's face it. Life if hard and eating is sometimes a panacea for out pain. This surgery is a tool, not a cure for obesity. I can still eat whatever I want and as much as I want. My mouth is not being sewn shut. But, because of the size of my new stomach, it will make me very uncomfortable and even get sick if I eat too much - or the wrong kind of food. The way my body metabolizes food, especially sugars, will change. Again, it's a tool to keep me on track. So, that is some of the reasons why I will have the surgery. I'm sure I've forgotten to mention it all. If this answer sounds harsh, I don't mean it to. I just know I need all the help I can get, and this surgery is a way help me achieve my goal of a healthy way of eating.
The other question asked was: If the surgeon is making you a new smaller stomach by portioning off a part of your stomach, what happens to the rest of your original stomach? Do they take it out during the surgery, or why would they just leave it in your body? Good question. You would think it would be something usless in your body. Why not just take it out. But, it's not. The remainder of your "old" stomach still works. It continues to make enzymes to digest your food. Yes, you have a new smaller stomach and your small intestines are re-routed to the new stomach, but you still need those enzymes from the "old" stomach. Your old stomach still empties those good enzymes back into your intestines and it all is reconnected on down the line of your small intestines. This is where I need a model of our "innerds" to show you what I mean. It certainly helped me understand it better. Maybe that explaination will help you understand.
Like I said before, I am not offended by questions you might have. Believe me, I have probably thought the same questions myself. Ask me. I don't need you to understand, but I want you to.
I'm another day closer. The liquid diet has gotten easier. I'm not as hungry as I was to begin with, or as nauseated. It's all part of the plan to make me healthier before surgery. I think I did mention that the reason they have you go on a liquid diet is to reduce the size of your liver. Our liver is a big organ and is right in the way of where the surgery is performed. Making it smaller, helps the surgeon get to the area they need. Also, taking in much smaller portions gives you good practice for when you start to drink, and then eat again. My new stomach will only hold 2-3 ounces at a time.
More to say later I'm sure. For now, stay tuned.
Woof, meow and xoxox from Bonnie
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Moving Forward
After my little spell of anxiety yesterday morning, and a good nights sleep, I'm feeling confident again. When I first went in for my consult weigh in, to the day I started my preop liquid diet, I gained 9 lbs. Not terribly disturbing to me because at that point I really wasn't watching what I was eating, and I gain weight very easily. I certainly wasn't dieting at that point and ate things I don't normally eat often because I was thinking it would be a long time before I could eat those things again. I'm not saying that I will have foods that I cannot taste or have a very small amount, I just can't eat the whole thing. Anyway, I'm not sorry I did this and those pounds are gone now. Thinking that I can never have certain foods is kind of daunting, so I'm trying not to think that way. I just have to be very careful of what I eat and the amount I eat for the rest of my life. This is a life change.
Yesterday, before I went to see my surgeon for preop, I went to Atlanta to see my dentist and have an impression made for the temporary tooth I will wear for 6 weeks after the inplant surgery. I try and combine all my trips down to Georgia because of gas prices. While I was there I got some sad news. My sweet dentist, Dr. Lehr, who has been my dentist for the past 29 years is retiring. Yesterday was his last day. He assured me that he will come back in and take care of my crown after the implant has healed. I love this man. When I first went to him, my mouth was a mess. I hadn't been to the dentist in many years, mainly because of fear. Like many, I had some bad childhood experiences at the dentist, and would not go back. I can honestly say that Dr. Lehr has never hurt me. From the very beginning, he was very gentle and supportive of me to get all the work done. As you can imagine, all that work was/is very expensive. He has always let me pay him as I could. I have always payed something every month and at times, I have even been current with what I owe him. He is a generous and caring man. Anyway.....I went with the office staff to take him to lunch before I went on to Gainesville. I couldn't stay long, but I got to be a part of his retirement celebration lunch.
The preop physical went well and then I went on to the hospital to register and have my lab work, EKG, and chest ray done. I got my preop instructions and headed back home. My surgery will be on Tues, Oct 16 (that's this coming Tues.!) at 11:55am. I have to be at the hospital 2 hrs early. Edel, my trusty support person and best bud, and I had thought we would spend the night with Larry & Charlotta Clark. They had graciously offered to let us stay the night before to keep us from having to drive so far the morning of surgery. Since we can leave at 8:15am and get there in plenty of time, we're going to just stay home and drive to the hospital that morning. We are going to spend the night of my discharge at their house. The surgeon wants you to be close to the hospital after discharge in case there are any problems. So, I will be discharged Wednesday late afternoon and go to Larry & Charlotta's (the big ass river house), spend the night there, and then head back to NC on Thursday. Just goes to show you, I have friends wanting to help out in any way they can.
I got home earlier that I thought I would but still it was a long day. Herman had babysat Phoebe for me because I was going to be gone most of the day, so I was greeted by that happy little dog when I got home. She is a delight. My kitties are loving and greet me when I'm gone, but Phoebe is hysterically happy to see me. I have my own little fan club at my house. Pets are wonderful.
That's enough for now. I have a couple of questions that people has asked and I want to address them. They are good questions and explain why I am doing this in a little more detail. The other is an anatomy question. Maybe I can do that this afternoon or tomorrow. I'm working my last 3 shifts today, tomorrow and Saturday before leaving for surgery. I plan to be out for 4 weeks postop.
So, stay tuned.
Woof, meow and xoxox from Bonnie
Yesterday, before I went to see my surgeon for preop, I went to Atlanta to see my dentist and have an impression made for the temporary tooth I will wear for 6 weeks after the inplant surgery. I try and combine all my trips down to Georgia because of gas prices. While I was there I got some sad news. My sweet dentist, Dr. Lehr, who has been my dentist for the past 29 years is retiring. Yesterday was his last day. He assured me that he will come back in and take care of my crown after the implant has healed. I love this man. When I first went to him, my mouth was a mess. I hadn't been to the dentist in many years, mainly because of fear. Like many, I had some bad childhood experiences at the dentist, and would not go back. I can honestly say that Dr. Lehr has never hurt me. From the very beginning, he was very gentle and supportive of me to get all the work done. As you can imagine, all that work was/is very expensive. He has always let me pay him as I could. I have always payed something every month and at times, I have even been current with what I owe him. He is a generous and caring man. Anyway.....I went with the office staff to take him to lunch before I went on to Gainesville. I couldn't stay long, but I got to be a part of his retirement celebration lunch.
The preop physical went well and then I went on to the hospital to register and have my lab work, EKG, and chest ray done. I got my preop instructions and headed back home. My surgery will be on Tues, Oct 16 (that's this coming Tues.!) at 11:55am. I have to be at the hospital 2 hrs early. Edel, my trusty support person and best bud, and I had thought we would spend the night with Larry & Charlotta Clark. They had graciously offered to let us stay the night before to keep us from having to drive so far the morning of surgery. Since we can leave at 8:15am and get there in plenty of time, we're going to just stay home and drive to the hospital that morning. We are going to spend the night of my discharge at their house. The surgeon wants you to be close to the hospital after discharge in case there are any problems. So, I will be discharged Wednesday late afternoon and go to Larry & Charlotta's (the big ass river house), spend the night there, and then head back to NC on Thursday. Just goes to show you, I have friends wanting to help out in any way they can.
I got home earlier that I thought I would but still it was a long day. Herman had babysat Phoebe for me because I was going to be gone most of the day, so I was greeted by that happy little dog when I got home. She is a delight. My kitties are loving and greet me when I'm gone, but Phoebe is hysterically happy to see me. I have my own little fan club at my house. Pets are wonderful.
That's enough for now. I have a couple of questions that people has asked and I want to address them. They are good questions and explain why I am doing this in a little more detail. The other is an anatomy question. Maybe I can do that this afternoon or tomorrow. I'm working my last 3 shifts today, tomorrow and Saturday before leaving for surgery. I plan to be out for 4 weeks postop.
So, stay tuned.
Woof, meow and xoxox from Bonnie
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Oh, my aching knees
I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row for my surgery next week and beyond. I've mentioned that I have terrible knee pain. After surgery, I will not be able to use any kind of aspirin product or it's derivitive, such as ibuprofen, Advil, Motril, Aleve because they put you at risk for bleeding. Not a good thing. For now, if I take 4 ibuprofen, it will give me some relief. That will not be an option post surgery. Tylenol, which I can take, gives me no relief. To that end, I decided to make an appointment to see my orthopedist who did some repair on my left knee 4 years ago. He said then, that if I did not lose weight that there was no reason to do any more surgery until I lost weight. The repair did help, but now the pain is back and worse, and in both knees. I saw him today and the news was not good. Since it had been 4 yrs since he last saw me, he did new x-rays. I expected him to say that I would need more repair after I lose weight, but what he said was that I need total knee replacements for both knees. Big bummer! I did not expect to hear that. He was pleased to hear that I am having surgery and on my way to weight loss, but that my options are pretty slim for my knees. He gave me a cortisone injection in each knee and also gave me a prescription for Ultram (Trammadol) for pain . He also said that he could do surgery to "clean out" the severe arthritis in my knees to buy some time, and possibly give me some limited relief, before doing the total knee replacements. He also mentioned that there is a injectible treatment call Synvisc that is used to lubricate the knee joint. He said it was made from chicken or turkey or some such bird's bones. Motor oil for the knee. This is given in 3 separate injections into the knee joint and can buy more time. I'd certainly want to try the "motor oil" injections before going for the big surgeries. I trust this doc. I have worked with him for many years in the past and think he does good work, with good results. So.....once I lose some weight and can't stand the pain any more, we'll move on to the next step.
Tomorrow is the big day for my preop exam with my surgeon, and registration at the hospital. Before I do that, I am seeing my dentist so he can make a "flapper, (that's what they call it) for when I have my implant. It is a tooth on a retainer, sort of, that you wear while your bone heals after the implant post is put in place. You have to wear it for 6 months....which is a big pain in the patootee. After that, you get your new crown and Voila!, a lovely new front tooth. This has to be made before the implant surgery is done, otherwise, you leave the oral surgeon's office without a front tooth. Not a lovely look.
Busy, busy. That's me. The liquid diet is going fine. I said I wasn't going to weight, but I couldn't resist. I've lost 13 lbs in the past 8 days. I certainly should have, because there is not much going in and plenty coming out. I pee pretty much on an hourly basis. The diet has not been all that bad. If I can do this....I can handle the postop diet. Really.
I hope ya'll appreciate all the education I'm giving you on not only gastric bypass surgery, but dental implants and knee replacements. I am going to be one cute chick.
Until then, stay tuned.
Woof, meow and xoxo
Tomorrow is the big day for my preop exam with my surgeon, and registration at the hospital. Before I do that, I am seeing my dentist so he can make a "flapper, (that's what they call it) for when I have my implant. It is a tooth on a retainer, sort of, that you wear while your bone heals after the implant post is put in place. You have to wear it for 6 months....which is a big pain in the patootee. After that, you get your new crown and Voila!, a lovely new front tooth. This has to be made before the implant surgery is done, otherwise, you leave the oral surgeon's office without a front tooth. Not a lovely look.
Busy, busy. That's me. The liquid diet is going fine. I said I wasn't going to weight, but I couldn't resist. I've lost 13 lbs in the past 8 days. I certainly should have, because there is not much going in and plenty coming out. I pee pretty much on an hourly basis. The diet has not been all that bad. If I can do this....I can handle the postop diet. Really.
I hope ya'll appreciate all the education I'm giving you on not only gastric bypass surgery, but dental implants and knee replacements. I am going to be one cute chick.
Until then, stay tuned.
Woof, meow and xoxo
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Drink, drink and drink some more
Tues. I started my full liquid diet. All is well except in the mornings. I am a breakfast eater and feel nauseated if I don't eat soon after I wake up. I can skip other meals, but not breakfast. I have to have a protein meal in the morning, so now I just make sure it includes skim milk and not water. That does add some substance to a protein shake I can make. I add ice and make it very thick in the blender. For now, I can also have sugar free applesauce, pudding, jello, or yogert, so I also have a little container of it, too. That also seems to help. Besides breakfast, lunch and dinner, I can also have a mid morning, afternoon and evening "snack". That is when I can have a jello or pudding, etc. For meals I can have cream soups that are strained or broth. Calories are to be between 800-1200 calories daily. Protein needs to be 70-80g a day. I love milk, but I do not like skim milk. Ingles brand has a skim milk that is fortified with calcium that is not too bad. I can't tell when I add it to the shakes. Besides drinking the food, I need to drink 64 oz of water a day. So far, I'm doing well. As you can imagine, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom peeing. I have been keeping a food journal to make sure I get in my protein and stay in my calorie range. Calorie wise, it has not been a problem to stay in my range with the little I am allowed. As long as I have 2 protein shakes, I can get my protein in. The protein powder, Unjury, comes in 2 kinds of chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, a chicken soup and an unflavored that can be added to the soup or yogert or other food. You cannot add it to anything warmer than 140 degrees but that is pretty warm. It does not disolve well and changes consistancy if the temp. is hotter than that.
For the next 2 weeks I stay on this diet. Certainly you will lose weight eating like this, but the main reason they have you doing this is to decrease the size of the liver. Many overweight people have larger or even fatty livers. Even thin people can have fatty livers by the way they eat. Decreasing the size of the liver makes the surgery easier because the surgeon is more able to visualize the stomach and intestines. So, it's important to follow this diet. The day before surgery you only have clear liquids to prepare for the next day. I have started taking the multivitamin that we are to take.
Speaking of vitamins, I think I have mentioned before how important it is to take the vitamins to keep your level up, while eating so little food. The multivitamin includes vitamins that are 200% of the daily recommended values. The others are also higher than the average person would take, too. They are either chewable, liquid or come in a Iozenge. I have been assured that I will be able to take my routine medications that I am on. I think I mentioned that I was most concerned about continuing to take my antidepressants. Dealing with the size of my new stomach, recovering from surgery and new eating habits are enough to deal with without have to deal with depression, too. I have a very good relationship with my psychiatrist (of over 25 years) so we will discuss any changes I may need to make. Also my new body will not metabolize food or medicine the same way, so some of my med doses may need to be adjusted along the way. That goes for my blood pressure, anti-reflux and others as well.
I have a very supportive internist and psychologist here in NC. My psychiatrist is in Atlanta, but we can talk by phone or I can drive down for any needs I might have. He is sensitive to my financial needs, in fact, they are all are, and try to cut corners whenever possible. All three are fine people, not to mention outstanding in their fields of medicine/psychology. I am very fortunate to have good doctors. I hear so many people who are dissatified with their doctors, but I have hit the jackpot.
I can not begin to tell you how fortunate I am to have great friends, too. I have wonderful friends here in NC, but also many friends in Georgia and throughout the United States who are supportive of what I am doing. I even have a lovely friend from grammar school and high school who lives in Costa Rica who stays in touch with me and is very supportive. This means so much to me to know that my friends are behind me and want me to succeed. I have also had friends who offered to help me financially and even come to help me postop. Dear, sweet, generous friends who are willing to help in any way.
After I lose my weight, I need to have surgery on my knees. They hurt. They hurt a lot. After surgery I am not going to be able to take aspirin or ibuprofen because of my delicate stomach and a higher risk for ulcers. This worries me because ibuprofen or naproxen help a little. I probably need to talk to my orthopedist to see if their is another medication I can take for some pair relief.
Phoebe has proven to be an excellent reason to get out and walk some. We haven't really gotten out signals down as to when she needs to go out to do her business, so taking her outside frequently to take care of things seems the best way to go. Other than her "accidents", she is a delight to have at my side.
I believe that brings you up to date. Keep those words and thoughts of support coming. I need them. Stay tuned for more updates. For now, woof, meow and xoxo.
For the next 2 weeks I stay on this diet. Certainly you will lose weight eating like this, but the main reason they have you doing this is to decrease the size of the liver. Many overweight people have larger or even fatty livers. Even thin people can have fatty livers by the way they eat. Decreasing the size of the liver makes the surgery easier because the surgeon is more able to visualize the stomach and intestines. So, it's important to follow this diet. The day before surgery you only have clear liquids to prepare for the next day. I have started taking the multivitamin that we are to take.
Speaking of vitamins, I think I have mentioned before how important it is to take the vitamins to keep your level up, while eating so little food. The multivitamin includes vitamins that are 200% of the daily recommended values. The others are also higher than the average person would take, too. They are either chewable, liquid or come in a Iozenge. I have been assured that I will be able to take my routine medications that I am on. I think I mentioned that I was most concerned about continuing to take my antidepressants. Dealing with the size of my new stomach, recovering from surgery and new eating habits are enough to deal with without have to deal with depression, too. I have a very good relationship with my psychiatrist (of over 25 years) so we will discuss any changes I may need to make. Also my new body will not metabolize food or medicine the same way, so some of my med doses may need to be adjusted along the way. That goes for my blood pressure, anti-reflux and others as well.
I have a very supportive internist and psychologist here in NC. My psychiatrist is in Atlanta, but we can talk by phone or I can drive down for any needs I might have. He is sensitive to my financial needs, in fact, they are all are, and try to cut corners whenever possible. All three are fine people, not to mention outstanding in their fields of medicine/psychology. I am very fortunate to have good doctors. I hear so many people who are dissatified with their doctors, but I have hit the jackpot.
I can not begin to tell you how fortunate I am to have great friends, too. I have wonderful friends here in NC, but also many friends in Georgia and throughout the United States who are supportive of what I am doing. I even have a lovely friend from grammar school and high school who lives in Costa Rica who stays in touch with me and is very supportive. This means so much to me to know that my friends are behind me and want me to succeed. I have also had friends who offered to help me financially and even come to help me postop. Dear, sweet, generous friends who are willing to help in any way.
After I lose my weight, I need to have surgery on my knees. They hurt. They hurt a lot. After surgery I am not going to be able to take aspirin or ibuprofen because of my delicate stomach and a higher risk for ulcers. This worries me because ibuprofen or naproxen help a little. I probably need to talk to my orthopedist to see if their is another medication I can take for some pair relief.
Phoebe has proven to be an excellent reason to get out and walk some. We haven't really gotten out signals down as to when she needs to go out to do her business, so taking her outside frequently to take care of things seems the best way to go. Other than her "accidents", she is a delight to have at my side.
I believe that brings you up to date. Keep those words and thoughts of support coming. I need them. Stay tuned for more updates. For now, woof, meow and xoxo.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
A New Family Member. It's a Doggie!!
I suppose I should talk about the new member of my family, first. Yep, I now have a dog, along with my 2 cats. Her name is Phoebe, and she is a miniature dachshund. Talk about adorable! She came from the county animal control. I was thinking about getting a dog to spur me on with walking, and I only went to look, but it was love at first sight. I went to Walmart and bought all the necessary supplies and then went back and picked her up to take home. She is a tiny thing, only 7.5 lbs and is brown and white. I think they call her coloring piebold. She does have some bad teeth and her breath is horrendous, but otherwise is the cutiest thing. I'll have to deal with her dental issues after I deal with mine. I have discovered that dogs are a lot more work than cats - especially if you don't want them to do their business in your house. But, we're both learning. She is the first dog I have ever had. She and Hannah & Houdini are getting along pretty well. Phoebe wants so bad to be friends, but H&H only see her as a nuisance. The kitties do not hiss at her or swat at her. They are pretty indifferent. Phoebe does think their dry food is much better than her's and their water is better than the water in her bowl, but they are tolerating her in their food. All except their wet food that they get in the evening. Phoebe thinks that is delicious and will eat it all if I don't put it up high so she can't get it. The kitties seem happy with this new arrangement. So all is well. Phoebe is very insecure and doesn't want to be left alone. I know this because she clings to me. When I took her to the vet, they said her name should be "velcro" because she was stuck to me. I saved her from, as Herman, my brother, calls it "death row in the chain gang". She does not want me out of her sight. I also know she does not want to be alone because I left her for a little while to go to the store and when I came home, she was at Herman's house. He said she was howling the most pitiful cry. He could hear her down at his house because my windows were open as well as his. Echo, Herman's dog is only tolerant of Phoebe and is not speaking to me. I try to still hold her and tell her I love her, but Phoebe is right there in the middle of it, too. That doesn't go over too well with Echo, the princess. Hopefully, they will get to be friends. I did leave Phoebe another time, but this time I closed the windows and I think she was better. She couldn't hear what all was going on outside. Herman said he walked up to the house but didn't hear her, so maybe that will work better. I'm leaving her today to go to work for about 3 and 1/2 hours including travel time. Hopefully she will get to the place where she knows I will come back, and not be so scared. Poor thing. I don't know what her life was like before me. I forgot to say that she is 7 years old. I'm trying to be really patient with her making "mistakes" in the house. She'll learn, I hope.
I was going to talk about starting my full liquid diet yesterday, but I've run out of time for now. I've got to get ready for work and take Phoebe for a walk before I go. No more doing things at the last minute. Phoebe has changed that.
Big, big changes with my diet. I'll talk about that next time. So, woof, meow, and xoxo. Stay tuned.
I was going to talk about starting my full liquid diet yesterday, but I've run out of time for now. I've got to get ready for work and take Phoebe for a walk before I go. No more doing things at the last minute. Phoebe has changed that.
Big, big changes with my diet. I'll talk about that next time. So, woof, meow, and xoxo. Stay tuned.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Getting ready ~
I've started getting ready for my preop and postop diet changes. Al & Barbara let me borrow their fancy/smancy blender that will blend, juice, puree just about anything you put in it. I have a blender, but I don't think it can do all that this modern contraption can do. I also went to the store and bought a zillion packs of sugar free jello and pudding. They were on sale and I'm certainly going to need it for my 2 weeks before full liquid diet and post op as well. I also bought no sugar added applesauce and chicken, beef and vegetable bullion for clear broth. I have been reading labels and canned soups that I thought I could eat are out of the question. Too much sugar. Bummer, because I love Progresso hearty tomato soup - but it has 13 gms of sugar. Yikes! No wonder it is so good. The weight loss program people leave nothing undone. They even give you a preop grocery list to go by and sample diet plans for the 2 weeks before surgery that you can only have full liquids. Full liquids are much different than clear liquids because you can have things like low fat, sugar free yogurt, sugar free pudding, low fat cottage cheese (gross), low fat cream soups (they have to be strained), unsweetened applesauce and even no sugar added fudgesicles. Clean liquid is only clear liquids. I'm trying to be optimistic here. I also have to have 2 high protein drinks a day. They nutritionist suggested a powder product called Unjury, which is actually pretty good. The protein supplement needs to have at least 30 grams of protein and no more than 7 grams of carbohydrates. That majorly limits a lot of the over the counter protein drinks. The powders come in chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, chicken soup and unflavored. They also have a website that gives you lots of ideas of how to make these drinks more interesting that just adding water or skim milk. Oh, I forgot, you can also have oatmeal, cream of wheat and grits that are thinned out with water. What a treat! - but only once a day. Portion sizes are also a major change. Most portion sizes are 1/2 cup, but there are a few things you can have a cup. Yahoo!
Portion sizes change drastically postop. You new pouch/stomach will only hold 2-3 ounces at a time. That ain't much! Go and measure out 3 ounces. You will be amazed that you can survive on that little. Hence, the protein drinks and vitamin supplementments. After surgery you have to start taking vitamin supplements to make sure you are getting all the daily requirements - plus some. You take a multi vitamin, B12, iron, B complex and calcium citrate. They are either in chewable form or a liquid. The reason you have to have so much protein is that you do not want to lose muscle mass while losing weight so rapidly.
I think I have mentioned before that carbonation is a big no-no. It could actually burst your new pouch/stomach sutures. I love carbonation, but I prefer not to have surgery again and possible die because of it. Also, no more caffeine because it increases your appetite. The only beverages you are allowed are decaffeinated tea and coffee, crystal Light, sugar free Kool-Aid, sugar free unsweetened juice, skim, 1%, lactain or low fat soy milk and of course, good old water. There is also a 30/30 rule. Once you start eating again, you have to wait 30 minutes before and after a meal to drink any liquid. You don't want to fill up that tiny stomach with fluids and not have room for protein. Protein first is the new and important rule. If you can't eat anything else - you have to get that protein in.
I'm sure by now, you know way more than you ever wanted to know about my diet plan. Diet is actually a dirty word, but you have to use it sometimes. A healthier way of eating is the more appropriate wording. I have 10 days - count them - 10 days to eat whatever terrible things I want to eat before my new way of healthy eating begins. Beef and pork are definately on the agenda, as well as ice cream, pasta and bread. I need to get in some candy, too, because those days of eating candy are numbered. No more Reece's Cups or Milky Way caramels (my new favorite candy bar). I'm not going crazy and eating all that I can get my hands on. But, I am going to enjoy a few before Oct. 2. Some mac and cheese is in order, too. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I will eat again - just a more healthy way of eating. Did I mention, that postop if I eat something high in sugar or eat too much that I will immediately vomit? Talk about negative reinforcement!
So, I'm getting my pantry and refrigerator - and my attitude ready. I'm going through my pantry and fridge this coming week and cleaning out anything that I cannot eat again. My brother, Herman, will get what he wants and the rest will go to the local food pantry.
May the force be with me. I'm sure there is more to say, so, stay tuned.
Portion sizes change drastically postop. You new pouch/stomach will only hold 2-3 ounces at a time. That ain't much! Go and measure out 3 ounces. You will be amazed that you can survive on that little. Hence, the protein drinks and vitamin supplementments. After surgery you have to start taking vitamin supplements to make sure you are getting all the daily requirements - plus some. You take a multi vitamin, B12, iron, B complex and calcium citrate. They are either in chewable form or a liquid. The reason you have to have so much protein is that you do not want to lose muscle mass while losing weight so rapidly.
I think I have mentioned before that carbonation is a big no-no. It could actually burst your new pouch/stomach sutures. I love carbonation, but I prefer not to have surgery again and possible die because of it. Also, no more caffeine because it increases your appetite. The only beverages you are allowed are decaffeinated tea and coffee, crystal Light, sugar free Kool-Aid, sugar free unsweetened juice, skim, 1%, lactain or low fat soy milk and of course, good old water. There is also a 30/30 rule. Once you start eating again, you have to wait 30 minutes before and after a meal to drink any liquid. You don't want to fill up that tiny stomach with fluids and not have room for protein. Protein first is the new and important rule. If you can't eat anything else - you have to get that protein in.
I'm sure by now, you know way more than you ever wanted to know about my diet plan. Diet is actually a dirty word, but you have to use it sometimes. A healthier way of eating is the more appropriate wording. I have 10 days - count them - 10 days to eat whatever terrible things I want to eat before my new way of healthy eating begins. Beef and pork are definately on the agenda, as well as ice cream, pasta and bread. I need to get in some candy, too, because those days of eating candy are numbered. No more Reece's Cups or Milky Way caramels (my new favorite candy bar). I'm not going crazy and eating all that I can get my hands on. But, I am going to enjoy a few before Oct. 2. Some mac and cheese is in order, too. THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. I will eat again - just a more healthy way of eating. Did I mention, that postop if I eat something high in sugar or eat too much that I will immediately vomit? Talk about negative reinforcement!
So, I'm getting my pantry and refrigerator - and my attitude ready. I'm going through my pantry and fridge this coming week and cleaning out anything that I cannot eat again. My brother, Herman, will get what he wants and the rest will go to the local food pantry.
May the force be with me. I'm sure there is more to say, so, stay tuned.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Get ready. Get set. It's really gonna happen!
I have a surgery date. October 16! It will be here before I know it. Now that I have an actual date, it seems like it has been forever since I first went to the informational seminar. That was in June. Actually 4 months is not that long in the sceme of things. There was a lot to do get ready for this surgery. Tons of paperwork, a visit with a psychologist, a sleep study and cpap to follow, a visit to see 2 of my primary physicians for approval, attending a support group, meeting the surgeon, a session with a nutritionist. I'm sure I've leaving something out, but it's all done. Yahoo! This doesn't include all the hours I have spent discussing this with my therapist, Carole, and all the conversations I have had with friends, (and not so much friends), and family.
The meeting with the nutritionist was great. Edel, my support person extrodinaire, went with me. It was so informative and I have a lot to learn and remember. Thank goodness it is all written out in a booklet and Edel was there to hear it all with me. Protein is the new magic word. Between now and the big day, I have to start having a protein drink for one meal a day. I have to start taking nutritional vitamin supplements and I have to start a 2 week, full liquid diet before the big day. This means I have 2 weeks to have whatever food that I will not eat for a long time or maybe even never eat again. I am not going stark raving crazy and eating everthing in sight. It does mean, that I am going to enjoy steak, bacon, chocolate, pasta, bread, ice cream and carbonated drinks for the next 2 weeks. I am. These are my favorite things to eat and I will never have some of them again. Kind of sad, but there is a lot of good foods that I like that I can eat. It will be hard to make these changes but it will be good, too. I'm sure I will have more to say about all of this.
Tuesday was a banner day. I got a surgery date for something that I've wanted for way more than 4 months. My life is never going to be the same. Just saying that excites me and wears me out. It's been an exciting week already and I haven't mentioned that I'm going to my 39th high school reunion on Saturday. This is the first reunion I've been to in those past 39 years, so it's sorta a big deal. I'm most excited about seeing my childhood friend, Wanda, who I haven't seen in 25 years. I'm sure all those old classmates will be much older than me and I will look so much younger than them.
So, stay tuned. More to come.
The meeting with the nutritionist was great. Edel, my support person extrodinaire, went with me. It was so informative and I have a lot to learn and remember. Thank goodness it is all written out in a booklet and Edel was there to hear it all with me. Protein is the new magic word. Between now and the big day, I have to start having a protein drink for one meal a day. I have to start taking nutritional vitamin supplements and I have to start a 2 week, full liquid diet before the big day. This means I have 2 weeks to have whatever food that I will not eat for a long time or maybe even never eat again. I am not going stark raving crazy and eating everthing in sight. It does mean, that I am going to enjoy steak, bacon, chocolate, pasta, bread, ice cream and carbonated drinks for the next 2 weeks. I am. These are my favorite things to eat and I will never have some of them again. Kind of sad, but there is a lot of good foods that I like that I can eat. It will be hard to make these changes but it will be good, too. I'm sure I will have more to say about all of this.
Tuesday was a banner day. I got a surgery date for something that I've wanted for way more than 4 months. My life is never going to be the same. Just saying that excites me and wears me out. It's been an exciting week already and I haven't mentioned that I'm going to my 39th high school reunion on Saturday. This is the first reunion I've been to in those past 39 years, so it's sorta a big deal. I'm most excited about seeing my childhood friend, Wanda, who I haven't seen in 25 years. I'm sure all those old classmates will be much older than me and I will look so much younger than them.
So, stay tuned. More to come.
A Healing Touch.
I work with a young woman/child who is 24 years old and has severe cerebral palsy. She is non-verbal and her only movements are spastic. She has difficulty swallowing and gets her nutrition from a tube in her stomach. Her secretions were much worse than usual today and she was getting choaked frequently. I am able to suction her mouth and throat to help her, but by the look on her face, it does not feel good...., but has to be done. I usually do range of motion exercises with her, but she was not feeling good, so we took a break. I was trying to soothe her by holding her hand and stroking her face. I took her hand and began to stroke my cheek with her hand. She began to settle down some and closed her eyes. This just reminded to me how important a simple touch can be. It can even be healing.
Today is also my little sister's birthday. She died in a house fire when she was 12 years old. It was such a tragedy. Her life had barely begun. I have struggled over the years with the guilt of surviving and worry that she did not know how much I loved her. It has been a hard day. I mentioned her birthday on facebook and to several people today and got such loving and kind responses. It has been 33 years since her death and it is true that time does heal, but some days the hurt feels raw. Those words and acknowledgements are healing. I feel loved today.
I am about to have surgery that is going to change my life. While I am excited, I have concerns about money, the challenges of learning how to eat again, not wanting to disappoint people if I have struggles (and I will), and just the uncertainty of my new body. I have many people who support me and I feel it. I have friends who are willing to do whatever it takes to make this a less stressful time for me. I am amazed by the generosity of my friends to help me. I have had a lot hurts in my life and I have scars. My heart and spirit have been broken, but because of the love and support of many people in my life, I also know healing. I am not the same person as I was and much of it is because of the healing touch of love.
Today is also my little sister's birthday. She died in a house fire when she was 12 years old. It was such a tragedy. Her life had barely begun. I have struggled over the years with the guilt of surviving and worry that she did not know how much I loved her. It has been a hard day. I mentioned her birthday on facebook and to several people today and got such loving and kind responses. It has been 33 years since her death and it is true that time does heal, but some days the hurt feels raw. Those words and acknowledgements are healing. I feel loved today.
I am about to have surgery that is going to change my life. While I am excited, I have concerns about money, the challenges of learning how to eat again, not wanting to disappoint people if I have struggles (and I will), and just the uncertainty of my new body. I have many people who support me and I feel it. I have friends who are willing to do whatever it takes to make this a less stressful time for me. I am amazed by the generosity of my friends to help me. I have had a lot hurts in my life and I have scars. My heart and spirit have been broken, but because of the love and support of many people in my life, I also know healing. I am not the same person as I was and much of it is because of the healing touch of love.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
A most excellent adventure, a tooth tragedy and the support group
Have I mentioned, I have most excellent friends? Well, I do. I spent this past weekend with 4 of my favorite people. I was with my best bud, Edel; Cristy, the funiest person I know; and Larry & Charlotta, the world's best host/hostess, and fun time people. We were at the big ass river house (BARH), which is the home of Larry & Charlotta. Cristy and I met up at the BARH on Friday afternoon and Edel came up on Saturday evening. Saturday morning, Cristy, Charlotta and I went to a garlic festival and toured 2 local wineries. Wine tasting was the order of the day and because of this we are now connoisseurs and wine snobs. We even discovered a red wine that is excellent with Cheetos. Really! After the wine tastings, we discovered that since we had no designated driver, we needed to go home, eat something and pick up Larry - which we did. We then went and visited yet another winery, but I chose not to partake this time because I needed to drive. For those of you who don't know me well, I have horrible motion sickness and must always drive if I am in a car, or I will turn green and vomit. I'm not much fun to take on a road trip unless I am driving, and I am the designated purse holder if carnival rides are involved. Anyway, we headed back home after a stop to Ingles (to pick up steaks for dinner and Cheetos for the wine), we headed home to meet up with Edel. We're coming up on the tooth portion of this blog.
I have a million dollar mouth because of all the dental work I have had in my lifetime, but the up side to this is, I have a lovely smile. This is true, but alas, something is always going wrong with my teeth. This past weekend was no exception. I was enjoying my perfectly grilled steak (by chef, Larry Clark), and eating my corn on the cob, potatoes and asparagus prepared by Charlotta, when I realized that something didn't feel right. I swallowed the food in my mouth and instantly realized that I had swallowed one of my front teeth. The others thought that the renigade tooth was on my plate, down my shirt or on the floor, but I knew better. I was headed to destinations unknown. I choose not to relay the string of words that followed out of my mouth because I am trying to make this a PG-13 blog. I was having such a good time up until point in time. There was really nothing I could do besides throw myself in the floor and scream and holler, but I did not. So much for my lovely smile. I now had a large gaping hole in the front of mouth. I could have been in a terrible mood for the remainer of the trip, but decided to not worry (this part is actually not true), and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Cristy had to leave to go to a piano recital in Atlanta (she is the most cultured of the group), but Edel, Larry, Charlotta and I enjoyed some pool time. Edel and I headed for home Sunday afternoon. Edel followed me back to Franklin to spend Monday and Tuesday with me. As part of my requirements for the gastric bypass surgery, I have to attend a support group that is held by the surgeon's office. We're moving on.
Since I now had a major flaw in my ordinally lovely smile, I had to make a plan. First thing Monday morning I hit the speed dial for my dentist extraordinaire, Dr Ralph Lehr. Since Dr. Lehr only works on Tues. and Weds. anymore, the plan was to see him the next morning. Now is the time to explain that Dr. Lehr's office is in Atlanta. I have seen him for a zillion years and he is the reason for my fore mentioned lovely smile. Nobody else can touch my teeth. He is worth every mile I drive back to Atlanta to see him. My appointment was Tuesday afternoon. Edel and I would drive back to Gainesville for the support group that evening. I will not elaborate on the happenings of the the dental visit except to say that I now have to have oral surgery and then I can get my new crown. Nothing is ever easy when it comes to my teeth. This is going to cost me a boat load of money, but that is another story for another time. We will move on to the support group.
I'm not sure what exactly I had expected for this weight loss support group, but it was not what I had imagined. The people in the group are all patients of my surgeon's practice and they are in different stages in their journey. Some were several years out from the surgery, some were experiencing their first year post op and others were pre op. There were also several support people, like Edel. They introduced themselves, told their status and how much weight they had lost up this date. That was truly amazing and inspiring. I guess I expected these people tell tell their struggles and victories and to discuss food plans. It was more of lesson in attitude and expectations. There was nothing wrong with that, in fact, it was good, but it was not what I wanted. I wanted to hear personal stories. I left there pretty disappointed. Edel and I had a long trip back to Franklin to discuss this. She thought the program was good and said that I could not really judge the group by one session. She is right. Edel is smart and intuitive, which is one of the reasons she is an excellent support person for me. She also lovingly pointed out that I do not know everything (which was not really a great shock to me, but I pretend it is) and that I could learn from this group. So, I will go back and change my expectations. Edel also suggested that I get on facebook and also check out any other online support and ask for personal stories. During the group, the facilitator did mention that some members were facebook friends and were in contact with each other that way. I also think that the events from earlier in the day, ie: my dentist visit, might have had something to do with my attitude going into the meeting.
I need to realize that my life in general is not going to stop while I make my journey into weight loss. Things are still going to happen - good and bad. I have to deal with it all. While my attention has been on getting the requirements of surgery out of the way, I still have to work, maintain friendships, deal with family issues, pay bills, clean house and all that is involved in living on a daily basis. I don't know why this is a new concept, but it is just beginning to settle in.
All this to say that I need your continued support, prayers, good thoughts and karma. This is one of the biggest events in my life and I cannot do it alone. I appreciate and am grateful for all of you. Thank you for being part of my life.
One last thing. I have an update on the cpap saga. My sleep is getting better. I am learning to deal with the big honk'in mask I have on my face. (I chose the total face mask.) It has been a challenge, but sleepy time is getting better. Yahoo!
I have a million dollar mouth because of all the dental work I have had in my lifetime, but the up side to this is, I have a lovely smile. This is true, but alas, something is always going wrong with my teeth. This past weekend was no exception. I was enjoying my perfectly grilled steak (by chef, Larry Clark), and eating my corn on the cob, potatoes and asparagus prepared by Charlotta, when I realized that something didn't feel right. I swallowed the food in my mouth and instantly realized that I had swallowed one of my front teeth. The others thought that the renigade tooth was on my plate, down my shirt or on the floor, but I knew better. I was headed to destinations unknown. I choose not to relay the string of words that followed out of my mouth because I am trying to make this a PG-13 blog. I was having such a good time up until point in time. There was really nothing I could do besides throw myself in the floor and scream and holler, but I did not. So much for my lovely smile. I now had a large gaping hole in the front of mouth. I could have been in a terrible mood for the remainer of the trip, but decided to not worry (this part is actually not true), and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Cristy had to leave to go to a piano recital in Atlanta (she is the most cultured of the group), but Edel, Larry, Charlotta and I enjoyed some pool time. Edel and I headed for home Sunday afternoon. Edel followed me back to Franklin to spend Monday and Tuesday with me. As part of my requirements for the gastric bypass surgery, I have to attend a support group that is held by the surgeon's office. We're moving on.
Since I now had a major flaw in my ordinally lovely smile, I had to make a plan. First thing Monday morning I hit the speed dial for my dentist extraordinaire, Dr Ralph Lehr. Since Dr. Lehr only works on Tues. and Weds. anymore, the plan was to see him the next morning. Now is the time to explain that Dr. Lehr's office is in Atlanta. I have seen him for a zillion years and he is the reason for my fore mentioned lovely smile. Nobody else can touch my teeth. He is worth every mile I drive back to Atlanta to see him. My appointment was Tuesday afternoon. Edel and I would drive back to Gainesville for the support group that evening. I will not elaborate on the happenings of the the dental visit except to say that I now have to have oral surgery and then I can get my new crown. Nothing is ever easy when it comes to my teeth. This is going to cost me a boat load of money, but that is another story for another time. We will move on to the support group.
I'm not sure what exactly I had expected for this weight loss support group, but it was not what I had imagined. The people in the group are all patients of my surgeon's practice and they are in different stages in their journey. Some were several years out from the surgery, some were experiencing their first year post op and others were pre op. There were also several support people, like Edel. They introduced themselves, told their status and how much weight they had lost up this date. That was truly amazing and inspiring. I guess I expected these people tell tell their struggles and victories and to discuss food plans. It was more of lesson in attitude and expectations. There was nothing wrong with that, in fact, it was good, but it was not what I wanted. I wanted to hear personal stories. I left there pretty disappointed. Edel and I had a long trip back to Franklin to discuss this. She thought the program was good and said that I could not really judge the group by one session. She is right. Edel is smart and intuitive, which is one of the reasons she is an excellent support person for me. She also lovingly pointed out that I do not know everything (which was not really a great shock to me, but I pretend it is) and that I could learn from this group. So, I will go back and change my expectations. Edel also suggested that I get on facebook and also check out any other online support and ask for personal stories. During the group, the facilitator did mention that some members were facebook friends and were in contact with each other that way. I also think that the events from earlier in the day, ie: my dentist visit, might have had something to do with my attitude going into the meeting.
I need to realize that my life in general is not going to stop while I make my journey into weight loss. Things are still going to happen - good and bad. I have to deal with it all. While my attention has been on getting the requirements of surgery out of the way, I still have to work, maintain friendships, deal with family issues, pay bills, clean house and all that is involved in living on a daily basis. I don't know why this is a new concept, but it is just beginning to settle in.
All this to say that I need your continued support, prayers, good thoughts and karma. This is one of the biggest events in my life and I cannot do it alone. I appreciate and am grateful for all of you. Thank you for being part of my life.
One last thing. I have an update on the cpap saga. My sleep is getting better. I am learning to deal with the big honk'in mask I have on my face. (I chose the total face mask.) It has been a challenge, but sleepy time is getting better. Yahoo!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Sleepy, irritable and a little impatient
I've been using my c-pap for 5 days now, and while it has maybe gotten a little better, I am sleep deprived. This is where the irritable comes in. I really like to sleep and I'm ill as a hornet (as my mother would say), when I don't sleep well. I went away for the weekend and took my machine with me. I am a very compliant patient, but it is getting hard. The gal from the medical supply company called me yesterday and asked if I was feeling better. I said, "are you kidding? I would just like to sleep through the night!" She suggested if it didn't get any better in a few days to try another kind of mask. I might just do that. Somethings got to give.
I've had several people ask me some questions and I'd like to address them. If you are one of the people who ask these questions, don't be offended. I just want to discuss this is a little detail and let you know my feelings. One - no two people asked me why I just didn't go on the tv show, The Biggest Loser. Wouldn't that be easier than surgery, they asked. Well, no. To tell the truth, I thought I was not as obese as the people on that show. I have discovered that there is no weight requirement to go on that show. I would be eligible if that was what I wanted to do. But, I don't. You have to give up your life for pretty much a year and be willing to be be taped and on television during your journey. Also, the amount of exercise you need to do is not realistic for me. My knees are bad and I do not want to injure tham any more than they already are. This is not for me. I've made the commitment to have the surgery and feel it's the best way for me to go. I don't feel like I need to explain anymore. Another thing someone said to me was, "so you will probably get married after you lose all that weight?" What??? I was a little taken back by this statement. The two have nothing to do with each other. Being overweight has nothing to do with the fact that I have never married. Plenty of people I know, and do not know, who are overweight have been or are married. The thought that I am too fat or undesirable to be married is not something I believe. Maybe, others do. Frankly I would be disappointed with any friend I have or anyone who knows me who would think that. There is so much more to me than the fact that I am overweight. I feel no need to try and justify that I am somehow not complete without a husband. I like my life. Sure, I get lonely and sure I think I would like a male to share my life with, but who doesn't get lonely and want their life to be different at some point? There are advantages and disadvantages to both. I would have liked to have had children. That is a fact. That is not because I am overweight either. I have my reasons for not being married and not having children. I would be willing to discuss these reasons with anyone who asked and was truly interested in me. I do not want to go into that here. I do get impatient with people who make such statements. I don't mind answering questions, though, that I feel deserves an answer.
This month, Edel and I are going to a support group meeting. We are also going to tackle the paperwork that pertains to us both and take it to the surgeon's office to get that out of the way. I am going to see my internist this month also. I want to discuss my decision with her and I need to get her authorization to have the surgery. I don't expect this to be a problem. We have discussed my weight many times and I know I have her support to make my life more healthy. That's it for August. In September is when I see the nutritionist and I expect that things will pick up after that. I should get a surgery date at that point if all my other requirements are done. They will be. In some ways I would like things to move more quickly. I do know that I have more to learn about the post op experience and about learning to eat differently. That takes time. I want to be completely ready in every way before I have the surgery.
As I meet more goals and have more feelings, I will be sharing them with you. Until then, stay tuned. Even now, I want and need your support.
I've had several people ask me some questions and I'd like to address them. If you are one of the people who ask these questions, don't be offended. I just want to discuss this is a little detail and let you know my feelings. One - no two people asked me why I just didn't go on the tv show, The Biggest Loser. Wouldn't that be easier than surgery, they asked. Well, no. To tell the truth, I thought I was not as obese as the people on that show. I have discovered that there is no weight requirement to go on that show. I would be eligible if that was what I wanted to do. But, I don't. You have to give up your life for pretty much a year and be willing to be be taped and on television during your journey. Also, the amount of exercise you need to do is not realistic for me. My knees are bad and I do not want to injure tham any more than they already are. This is not for me. I've made the commitment to have the surgery and feel it's the best way for me to go. I don't feel like I need to explain anymore. Another thing someone said to me was, "so you will probably get married after you lose all that weight?" What??? I was a little taken back by this statement. The two have nothing to do with each other. Being overweight has nothing to do with the fact that I have never married. Plenty of people I know, and do not know, who are overweight have been or are married. The thought that I am too fat or undesirable to be married is not something I believe. Maybe, others do. Frankly I would be disappointed with any friend I have or anyone who knows me who would think that. There is so much more to me than the fact that I am overweight. I feel no need to try and justify that I am somehow not complete without a husband. I like my life. Sure, I get lonely and sure I think I would like a male to share my life with, but who doesn't get lonely and want their life to be different at some point? There are advantages and disadvantages to both. I would have liked to have had children. That is a fact. That is not because I am overweight either. I have my reasons for not being married and not having children. I would be willing to discuss these reasons with anyone who asked and was truly interested in me. I do not want to go into that here. I do get impatient with people who make such statements. I don't mind answering questions, though, that I feel deserves an answer.
This month, Edel and I are going to a support group meeting. We are also going to tackle the paperwork that pertains to us both and take it to the surgeon's office to get that out of the way. I am going to see my internist this month also. I want to discuss my decision with her and I need to get her authorization to have the surgery. I don't expect this to be a problem. We have discussed my weight many times and I know I have her support to make my life more healthy. That's it for August. In September is when I see the nutritionist and I expect that things will pick up after that. I should get a surgery date at that point if all my other requirements are done. They will be. In some ways I would like things to move more quickly. I do know that I have more to learn about the post op experience and about learning to eat differently. That takes time. I want to be completely ready in every way before I have the surgery.
As I meet more goals and have more feelings, I will be sharing them with you. Until then, stay tuned. Even now, I want and need your support.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Cpap......the real story
I'm sure you all have been waiting with bated breath to hear about my first c-pap experience. Well, here it is...the real story.
First of all, for those of you who are saying, "what the hell is a c-pap and why is she making such a big deal about it", I will explain. C-pap stands for continuous positive air pressure. Another word I might need to explain is apnea. That means you stop breathing for a period of time. Not a long period because that would mean death, which would be a whole other story. Usually, you stop breathing for a few seconds. There are a couple of reason for this. Most of the time there is some kind of obstruction in your throat, like big tonsils or adnoids or even a large uvula. That's the thing that hangs down in the the middle of your throat. Uvula is not to be confused with vulva. That is in a completely other part of your body. I only say this because I had someone call her uvula her vulva. I was certainly confused for a moment until I figured out she was confused with the names of her body parts. Any, I digress.... where was I? The reason for apnea. Another reason can be excess fat around your neck and chin. Not all people with this dilema have sleep apnea but, being overweight makes you at high risk. The last reason is something called central apnea. Your brain actually tells your body to stop breathing. This is my problem. Obviously, I have a defective brain and who know why this happens, but it does. Anyway, when any of these things cause the apnea, your body usually wakes you up and says, "hey, stop that and start breathing again!". It needs oxygen for it to keep working properly. So, in this case, your body is your best friend. Sometimes, all your body needs is something to keep your airway open and this positive air pressure is just the thing. This machine gives you a continuous flow of air into your nostrils to keep your airway open. Thus, continuous positive air pressure. That is the end of this lesson for today.
Now that you know what c-pap means, it will help you understand the rest of the story. I went to pick up my c-pap machine yesterday morning and get instructions on how to use it. I won't go into more detail, but to say that the respiratory therapist told me that I have small nostrils and a small face. I only mention this because nobody has ever called any part of my body small. I was excited all day because of this new information that this kind woman named, Peggy, told me. Peggy the respiratory therapist is my new best friend. I wear a small mask. Yahoo! None of that information was really necessary for you to know, butI want to tell a complete story. There are a lot of different kinds of masks, which I will not go into a lot of detail because this story is getting too long already. You need to have one that fits your face properly and the continuous air flow cannot seep out of around the mask. Let me move on to my experience with this machine last night.
I actually remembered how to set the machine up last night which was a major plus. There is a long hose that pulls the humidified air to your face. This is where my concern with the kitties come in. They love to chew on things. I am convinced that they are part piranha. They, however, left it alone, but I'm not sure they can be trusted to leave it alone when I am not around, so when not in use, I will keep it out of sight. They were confused by this contraption on my face. Houdini kept walking around my head, while Hannah just sat and stared at me. This went on for what seemed like a long time. Anyway, they finally settled down and went to sleep.....unlike me. I know I slept some, but I was constantly aware of this foreign thing on my face. I have been told by many that you get used to it. We shall see. I managed to keep it on for 5 hours which I thought was remarkable. You may applaud for me here.....thank you. I was told that I have to use the machine for at least 4 hours a night for it to count as me using it properly. Since I want to be compliant, I did just that and more. Hooray for me. I'm probably going to get sleepy later on because of my interrupted sleep, but I love a good nap.
I have to use this machine for 3 weeks at 4 hours a night for it to count and then the pulmonologist will sign off on me to have the surgery. I will, however, continue to use this handy machine for as long as they say I need it. I have been told that having the gastric bypass surgery and losing a lot of weight will sometimes correct this problem. But, since it is my brain that is causing me to stop breathing (central apnea), I don't know that it will. We will see about that. So, stay tuned.
First of all, for those of you who are saying, "what the hell is a c-pap and why is she making such a big deal about it", I will explain. C-pap stands for continuous positive air pressure. Another word I might need to explain is apnea. That means you stop breathing for a period of time. Not a long period because that would mean death, which would be a whole other story. Usually, you stop breathing for a few seconds. There are a couple of reason for this. Most of the time there is some kind of obstruction in your throat, like big tonsils or adnoids or even a large uvula. That's the thing that hangs down in the the middle of your throat. Uvula is not to be confused with vulva. That is in a completely other part of your body. I only say this because I had someone call her uvula her vulva. I was certainly confused for a moment until I figured out she was confused with the names of her body parts. Any, I digress.... where was I? The reason for apnea. Another reason can be excess fat around your neck and chin. Not all people with this dilema have sleep apnea but, being overweight makes you at high risk. The last reason is something called central apnea. Your brain actually tells your body to stop breathing. This is my problem. Obviously, I have a defective brain and who know why this happens, but it does. Anyway, when any of these things cause the apnea, your body usually wakes you up and says, "hey, stop that and start breathing again!". It needs oxygen for it to keep working properly. So, in this case, your body is your best friend. Sometimes, all your body needs is something to keep your airway open and this positive air pressure is just the thing. This machine gives you a continuous flow of air into your nostrils to keep your airway open. Thus, continuous positive air pressure. That is the end of this lesson for today.
Now that you know what c-pap means, it will help you understand the rest of the story. I went to pick up my c-pap machine yesterday morning and get instructions on how to use it. I won't go into more detail, but to say that the respiratory therapist told me that I have small nostrils and a small face. I only mention this because nobody has ever called any part of my body small. I was excited all day because of this new information that this kind woman named, Peggy, told me. Peggy the respiratory therapist is my new best friend. I wear a small mask. Yahoo! None of that information was really necessary for you to know, butI want to tell a complete story. There are a lot of different kinds of masks, which I will not go into a lot of detail because this story is getting too long already. You need to have one that fits your face properly and the continuous air flow cannot seep out of around the mask. Let me move on to my experience with this machine last night.
I actually remembered how to set the machine up last night which was a major plus. There is a long hose that pulls the humidified air to your face. This is where my concern with the kitties come in. They love to chew on things. I am convinced that they are part piranha. They, however, left it alone, but I'm not sure they can be trusted to leave it alone when I am not around, so when not in use, I will keep it out of sight. They were confused by this contraption on my face. Houdini kept walking around my head, while Hannah just sat and stared at me. This went on for what seemed like a long time. Anyway, they finally settled down and went to sleep.....unlike me. I know I slept some, but I was constantly aware of this foreign thing on my face. I have been told by many that you get used to it. We shall see. I managed to keep it on for 5 hours which I thought was remarkable. You may applaud for me here.....thank you. I was told that I have to use the machine for at least 4 hours a night for it to count as me using it properly. Since I want to be compliant, I did just that and more. Hooray for me. I'm probably going to get sleepy later on because of my interrupted sleep, but I love a good nap.
I have to use this machine for 3 weeks at 4 hours a night for it to count and then the pulmonologist will sign off on me to have the surgery. I will, however, continue to use this handy machine for as long as they say I need it. I have been told that having the gastric bypass surgery and losing a lot of weight will sometimes correct this problem. But, since it is my brain that is causing me to stop breathing (central apnea), I don't know that it will. We will see about that. So, stay tuned.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Jumping through the hoops
I'm not literally jumping through hoops - wouldn't that be a sight? But, there are requirements that you need to complete before you are considered for the surgery. The first is to go to a educational seminar regarding the program. I did that back in June. Edel, my bff, went with me for support. It was very informative. One of the surgeons went through the different types of surgery in great detail and discuss what is required of the patient before and after surgery to be successful. Then, an insurance person talked about insurance plans and the cost out of pocket. She did not go into enough detail because as I work through the requirements, unexpected costs keep popping up. So far, I've been able to handle it, but they don't tell you that part of it. They also showed several "before and after" pictures of people who have been success. Very impressive. As we were walking out of the lecture, we spoke with one of the nurses in the surgeon's office who had the surgery 6 years ago. She was a small gal, who when looking at her, you would never have known she had a weight problem. She had lost 116 lbs! She was very honest about what to expect. Edel and I left there jazzed up and I was willing to have the surgery the next day. Obviously, that did not happen. I was sent home with stack of papers to fill out which included a detailed family history and history of all the diets you had even been on in your entire life. That took a while, but I was quick to finish and send it back to them.
Next, you have to see a psychologist that the surgeon uses specifically to see if you are a candidate for the surgery. I thought this would be a breeze since I've been in therapy for the past zillion years. It really wasn't too bad. They make you you take several standardized test. One was a personality test, an intelligence test and several other test pertaining to the way you think about food. Then, you have a session with the psychologist so he can personally see if you are a good match to have the surgery. Four hours later (they had said it would take that long, and they were right!), I left thinking I was pretty darn smart and thankful that I had spent all those years in therapy. Needless to day, it went very well and I am sane enough to have the surgery and all that that inquires. Also, that cost a chunk of money.
After that, I got a call from the sleep disorder center. I needed to have a sleep study. Because of my weight, gastric reflux and whatever else, that put me in a high risk catagory for sleep apnea. I had a sleep study abou 4 years ago but never went back for the results because I lost my insurance. I was told then that I was "borderline". Of course, after the sleep disorder center got the results, they wanted me to have a repeat test using c-pap. I told them that I was sleeping fine and they did not believe me. Imagine that! So, I went for the follow up test. Have you even had a sleep study? Well, they hook you up to all these electrodes all over your body, put this mask on your face and then expect you to go to sleep. It was terrible. The tech at the center was this cute, young fella, who was a pleasure to work with - if I had to be there. He asked, "how did you sleep?" "Terrible", I said. He laughed and said I slept like a baby. Liar!! But, as he reminded me, he had video proof. Don't you just hate a smarty pants?! So, not to make a long story even longer, I do have sleep apnea and I have to wear c-pap. They also moniter you to make sure you are wearing it, too. I imagine little spys in my bedroom watching my every move, but, actually, the machine monitors how often you use it. Some sort of technology I will never understand. So, if you cheat, "they" will know it. This could cause you to be eliminated from the program. I go to pick up my c-pap machine on Thursday morning. UGH!!
I had an appointment to meet the surgeon for a consult last week. I really liked him. He took plenty of time with me and answered all my questions. I was most concerned about being able to take my medicine after the surgery because you cannot swallow much of anything but liquids afterwards. He assured me that I would be able to take what I needed. Among the medications I was worried about was my antidepressants. I have had a long battle with depression and finding the right medication is tricky. Plus, for me anyway, the medications stop working after a while. I'm in a good place right now and don't want to mess that up. I had seen my psychiatrist earlier that day. Oh my gosh, yes, I see a psychiatrist and have for many years. Those of you who know me well, know this already. He has truly been a life saver. He assurred me, also, that continuing to take my meds would not be a problem and I would be monitored closely because after the surgery because your body absorbes things differently and my dosages would probably change. This was a great relief. I want to be cute and slim, but I also want to be sane, too. Whew!! I was really worried about that.
I left the surgeons office with more papers to fill out, including a manual that tells you everything to expect and a written test to complete. They REALLY want to make sure you are aware of what you are getting into. There is also committment papers (not what you are thinking) that I have to sign along with my official support person. Yes, I have to choose someone who will be my support person throughout this ordeal. Edel volunterred, thank goodness. She also has to sign papers saying she will support me and will be put in jail if I mess up. Not, really, but they want you to take all this seriously. We both then have to write some sort of essay that we understand what all this decision entales. I also have to go to a support group that is offered by ths hospital that they want you to attend for a year after surgery. Edel and I are going to that at the end of the month. Unfortunately, the support group meets in Gainesville, GA (where I am having the surgery) and gas cost a fortune, but you do what you gotta do. It's not manditory, but highly recommended. My sister and niece never went, but I will. I want and need all the support I can get. I am very fortunate to have a lot of people pulling for me and that is wonderful, but I also need to be around people who are or have experienced the same thing I am going though.
Last, but not least, I will meet with a dietician who will tell me what I can eat and what I can not and will explain the process of beginning to eat again after surgery. This will be on Sept. 11. I am looking forward to this. I think she follows up with you at certain intervals also to make sure you are staying on track. Then, taaaa daaaa, if all the requirements are in order after that, I will be scheduled for surgery. I am thinking October for a surgery date, but it might be November.
So, there you have it. My plan for the next couple of months. I will keep you up to date on the happenings. Stay tuned.
Next, you have to see a psychologist that the surgeon uses specifically to see if you are a candidate for the surgery. I thought this would be a breeze since I've been in therapy for the past zillion years. It really wasn't too bad. They make you you take several standardized test. One was a personality test, an intelligence test and several other test pertaining to the way you think about food. Then, you have a session with the psychologist so he can personally see if you are a good match to have the surgery. Four hours later (they had said it would take that long, and they were right!), I left thinking I was pretty darn smart and thankful that I had spent all those years in therapy. Needless to day, it went very well and I am sane enough to have the surgery and all that that inquires. Also, that cost a chunk of money.
After that, I got a call from the sleep disorder center. I needed to have a sleep study. Because of my weight, gastric reflux and whatever else, that put me in a high risk catagory for sleep apnea. I had a sleep study abou 4 years ago but never went back for the results because I lost my insurance. I was told then that I was "borderline". Of course, after the sleep disorder center got the results, they wanted me to have a repeat test using c-pap. I told them that I was sleeping fine and they did not believe me. Imagine that! So, I went for the follow up test. Have you even had a sleep study? Well, they hook you up to all these electrodes all over your body, put this mask on your face and then expect you to go to sleep. It was terrible. The tech at the center was this cute, young fella, who was a pleasure to work with - if I had to be there. He asked, "how did you sleep?" "Terrible", I said. He laughed and said I slept like a baby. Liar!! But, as he reminded me, he had video proof. Don't you just hate a smarty pants?! So, not to make a long story even longer, I do have sleep apnea and I have to wear c-pap. They also moniter you to make sure you are wearing it, too. I imagine little spys in my bedroom watching my every move, but, actually, the machine monitors how often you use it. Some sort of technology I will never understand. So, if you cheat, "they" will know it. This could cause you to be eliminated from the program. I go to pick up my c-pap machine on Thursday morning. UGH!!
I had an appointment to meet the surgeon for a consult last week. I really liked him. He took plenty of time with me and answered all my questions. I was most concerned about being able to take my medicine after the surgery because you cannot swallow much of anything but liquids afterwards. He assured me that I would be able to take what I needed. Among the medications I was worried about was my antidepressants. I have had a long battle with depression and finding the right medication is tricky. Plus, for me anyway, the medications stop working after a while. I'm in a good place right now and don't want to mess that up. I had seen my psychiatrist earlier that day. Oh my gosh, yes, I see a psychiatrist and have for many years. Those of you who know me well, know this already. He has truly been a life saver. He assurred me, also, that continuing to take my meds would not be a problem and I would be monitored closely because after the surgery because your body absorbes things differently and my dosages would probably change. This was a great relief. I want to be cute and slim, but I also want to be sane, too. Whew!! I was really worried about that.
I left the surgeons office with more papers to fill out, including a manual that tells you everything to expect and a written test to complete. They REALLY want to make sure you are aware of what you are getting into. There is also committment papers (not what you are thinking) that I have to sign along with my official support person. Yes, I have to choose someone who will be my support person throughout this ordeal. Edel volunterred, thank goodness. She also has to sign papers saying she will support me and will be put in jail if I mess up. Not, really, but they want you to take all this seriously. We both then have to write some sort of essay that we understand what all this decision entales. I also have to go to a support group that is offered by ths hospital that they want you to attend for a year after surgery. Edel and I are going to that at the end of the month. Unfortunately, the support group meets in Gainesville, GA (where I am having the surgery) and gas cost a fortune, but you do what you gotta do. It's not manditory, but highly recommended. My sister and niece never went, but I will. I want and need all the support I can get. I am very fortunate to have a lot of people pulling for me and that is wonderful, but I also need to be around people who are or have experienced the same thing I am going though.
Last, but not least, I will meet with a dietician who will tell me what I can eat and what I can not and will explain the process of beginning to eat again after surgery. This will be on Sept. 11. I am looking forward to this. I think she follows up with you at certain intervals also to make sure you are staying on track. Then, taaaa daaaa, if all the requirements are in order after that, I will be scheduled for surgery. I am thinking October for a surgery date, but it might be November.
So, there you have it. My plan for the next couple of months. I will keep you up to date on the happenings. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Adventures in weight loss surgery and beyond
After much tearing of clothes and gnashing of teeth, I have finally come up with a blog that will let me document my adventures in weight loss surgery and beyond. I hope this will be a place, too, that I can explore my thoughts and feelings while making huge changes in my life. For those of you who decide to follow this, I hope you might learn what a difficult task I am undertaking and I hope you will be positive and supportive of me during this time. So, let me begin.
I have been overweight for most of my life and all of my adult life. I'm sure there are many reasons for this. One is because I am a Burgamy, I'm sure. I doubt I will ever be small, but I would like to be a healthy size for my body frame. Aother reason was the way I was brought up to eat. Southern style, with a lot of fried food and vegetables cooked in grease. We always had bread and a dessert with every meal. This certainly is nobody's fault. It's just the way it was. I was always on a diet, even as a child. Lastly, there are emotional reasons. My life growing up was not easy - but who's is, right? I won't go into a lot of explaination, but I'm sure that eating was a way of protecting myself from difficult situations and it was a comfort to me. Enough of all that.
I am morbidly obese. Doesn't sound pretty does it? I am way over what I should weight for my height. I could say that I should just be taller, but that's not the answer. I am at an unhealthy weight and because of that I have high blood pressure, gastric reflux, sleep apnea, and painful joints. I'm sure there is more, but I'll stop there. I have been on more diets than I can count. You name it, I've probably tried it at some point. When I was younger I could lose weight fairly easy. The problem is it never stayed off. I would gain it back and more usually. I have been thinking about gastric bypass surgery for a long time. My sister and my niece, both have had this surgery. Both were successful to begin with, but my sister has gained a good bit of her weight back. My niece has done well. At the time when they had their surgeries, I was not convinced that it was all that safe, and if it was the right thing for me. I have done a lot of research about the procedure and the results thereafter. I wanted to be sure before I took on such a drastic step. All that to say, I feel comfortable with my decision to have the surgery and feel like it is the best course for me.
I plan to take you through the steps of what all I have to do to be eligible for this surgery. There was 3 different surgeries that are done for weight loss. I chose the most drastic, but also the one with the best results for someone who needs to lose a lot of weight. I'll go into all that later. I plan to take you through pre-op, surgery and at least one year after or my goal weight.
So, if you were bored to tears reading all this, maybe this isn't for you. I would not be upset with anyone who chose not to follow me in this adventure. A lot of the reason I am writing a blog is just for me. I thought some of you would like to follow my progress and maybe even learn something about me and the challenges of wanting to make a betterbonnie. Stay tuned. More to come.
I have been overweight for most of my life and all of my adult life. I'm sure there are many reasons for this. One is because I am a Burgamy, I'm sure. I doubt I will ever be small, but I would like to be a healthy size for my body frame. Aother reason was the way I was brought up to eat. Southern style, with a lot of fried food and vegetables cooked in grease. We always had bread and a dessert with every meal. This certainly is nobody's fault. It's just the way it was. I was always on a diet, even as a child. Lastly, there are emotional reasons. My life growing up was not easy - but who's is, right? I won't go into a lot of explaination, but I'm sure that eating was a way of protecting myself from difficult situations and it was a comfort to me. Enough of all that.
I am morbidly obese. Doesn't sound pretty does it? I am way over what I should weight for my height. I could say that I should just be taller, but that's not the answer. I am at an unhealthy weight and because of that I have high blood pressure, gastric reflux, sleep apnea, and painful joints. I'm sure there is more, but I'll stop there. I have been on more diets than I can count. You name it, I've probably tried it at some point. When I was younger I could lose weight fairly easy. The problem is it never stayed off. I would gain it back and more usually. I have been thinking about gastric bypass surgery for a long time. My sister and my niece, both have had this surgery. Both were successful to begin with, but my sister has gained a good bit of her weight back. My niece has done well. At the time when they had their surgeries, I was not convinced that it was all that safe, and if it was the right thing for me. I have done a lot of research about the procedure and the results thereafter. I wanted to be sure before I took on such a drastic step. All that to say, I feel comfortable with my decision to have the surgery and feel like it is the best course for me.
I plan to take you through the steps of what all I have to do to be eligible for this surgery. There was 3 different surgeries that are done for weight loss. I chose the most drastic, but also the one with the best results for someone who needs to lose a lot of weight. I'll go into all that later. I plan to take you through pre-op, surgery and at least one year after or my goal weight.
So, if you were bored to tears reading all this, maybe this isn't for you. I would not be upset with anyone who chose not to follow me in this adventure. A lot of the reason I am writing a blog is just for me. I thought some of you would like to follow my progress and maybe even learn something about me and the challenges of wanting to make a betterbonnie. Stay tuned. More to come.
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