I can't remember if I mentioned last time that a lots of foods were making me nauseated or gave me a stomach ache, diarrhea or a just plain icky feeling. I know that when Edel was here, I was cooking more combination foods, rather than just one ingredient meals and they didn't seem to agree with me. Over the last couple of weeks my nausea got worse. It was all the time and not just after I ate something. I called my surgeon and was told that some people has a lot of nausea and was prescribed Reglan. It's a miracle drug or I was just sick with a bug for a couple of weeks. I think it might have been a little of both. Week before last, I got got very dizzy. I imagined that my eyes were going around in circles like in a cartoon. I cancelled an appointment with my therapist one day, but then the next I woke up feeling some better. I had an appointment with my oral surgeon in Atlanta. I decided I felt up to going. Big mistake. I got so nauseated on the way home. I was so dizzy. I shouldn't have been driving, but kept thinking I just needed to get home and I would be fine. I had to stop several times to either stick my head out the window or just close my eyes for a few minutes. Without going into more gory details, I did arrive safely home. For the next week, I continued with the nausea and dizziness. Miserable feeling. I didn't even want to drink or take my medicine and I'm pretty sure I was dehydrated. I learned 2 important things from this. If you are that sick, call a friend or go to the hospital - and don't drive in that condition. It really was foolish of me. I probably needed to get some IV fluids, too. Anyway, I am feeling so much better. I am still taking the Reglan because I was nauseated on a low level all the time before all this other happened. Evidently, having gastric bypass affects everybody differently. I have a couple of friends of friends on facebook and I belong to a forum for weight loss surgery who all have different stories, and symptoms to tell. I was thinking I had made the biggest mistake - that I could not live with this nauseated and being this dizzy all the time. Thankfully, I am symptom free at the moment and I'm feeling pretty good.
By no means was this weight loss surgery a free ride. I have to watch so carefully what I eat or I will get sick or be miserable, and wish I was sick. So far, I have not been all that hungry, but I understand that hunger pangs do come back (whether they are in my stomach or in my head). I know I have felt like I wanted to eat pasta - and I did. The problem with this is that my little stomach will not hold the same amount that my mind tells me I can have. I did not get sick and vomit, but for about 15 minutes I wished I had never put that pasta in my mouth. It felt stuck in the middle of my chest and actually hurt because it would not go down. I think I am getting lactose intolerant. Milk and ice cream do not agree with me, but fat free cheese seems to be ok. I think I have mentioned that if you eat concentrated sugar, your body will rebel and go into something called dumping syndrome. That is severe stomach and chest pains, intense nausea and massive diarrhea. I have yet to experience this and hope I never do. The fear of it certainly keeps me from eating candy or anything else high in sugar. Some foods give you terrible and very smelly gas. Lovely, huh! Just because my stomach is much smaller does not give me a license to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. There is a price to pay. My choices of food is no different than any other dieter. I can choose the continue to eat unhealthy and can stretch my new little stomach back out - not to mention the sickness, and even as far as death that can occur. Or, I can decide to use this tool for the good and begin a new healthy life. I choose the latter.
I just recently saw a fellow traveler on this journey and she told me I needed to change my profile picture on facebook. That I didn't look like that old picture anymore. I know I have lost weight. The scales say it. My clothes say it, and I can see results when I look in the mirror. But, and this is a big deal, my mind does not see what other people see. I mentioned last time that I was having a problem wanting to try on smaller sizes. I don't want to be disappointed if I try something on and it doesn't fit. My old clothes are baggy and comfortable and as an overweight person, that feels good. I did buy a smaller (4 sizes smaller) pair of pants and a new bra, only because the cup was so big it folded over on itself. Other than that, I'm waiting. I tell myself that I'm being practical because I won't stay in these sizes, but I know there is more. You will have to stay tuned for that. I'm working with my therapist on these issues, plus more. My body image has been so distorted for so long. I know, but then I don't know, that I am not a number on the scales. This is hard work.
About changing my picture. I have gotten so many compliments on how different or good I look. And that's at a 68 pound loss. I have so much more to lose. Those comments (your comments) have been wonderful to read and make me feel so good. I am even more determine to continue my journey and be successful. Again and again, thank you for your support of me.
Until next time,
Phoebe sends a very loud "WOOF", Hannah and Houdini send their best "Meows" and Bonnie sends her love and appreciation xoxoxo
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Happy New Year 2013
It's been a busy couple of weeks since my last post because of Christmas, my birthday and New Years, but I've done extremely very well in the weight loss department. Let me brag right off the bat. I've lost another 12 pounds since my last blog on Dec. 17, which is a total of 64 pounds. I can hardly believe it, but the scales don't lie! I've learned a lot about what does not agree with my new stomach because I've been cooking more and trying new foods. I'm so excited about the weight loss, but I was afraid that I had gained because I felt like I was eating more food, when in fact I was just eating some different foods.
I went to my dear friends and adopted family, the Clark's, on Dec. 22 for their family celebration. There was lots of great foods but I tried to stay true to my diet. I did have roasted beets that where in a salad (I didn't eat the salad but picked out the beets) and they were delicious. I had a taste of a carrot souffle that was very good. I also had ham, brussle sprouts and asparagus. Sounds like a lot of food, but I only had a taste of all of them. Nothing sweet, but I did have some coffee with creamer which was also very good. I'm sure it was not fat free, but it did not upset my stomach. Next was Christmas day at my sister's house. I had ham again, a small amount of scalloped potatoes (again not fat free), baked beans and roasted califlower. No desserts again. Good for me! I felt like I ate too much, but I really think I was eating too fast because I had that stuck feeling in my chest. It goes away after a few minutes, but reminds me that I don't take enough time inbetween bites. I think I chew enough, but probably should be chewing more and swallowing less at a time. Anyway, survived the day and didn't eat supper that evening. I certainly didn't feel deprived in eating. The desserts didn't even appeal to me, because I don't want to get nauseated or have dumping syndrome (massive stomach cramps and diarrhea). Lastly, my friend Edel came on the 27th and stayed through New Years day. I cooked a lot more than I normally do and also different foods. One night I cooked baked chicken with fresh mushrooms and 98% fat free chicken cream soup. That was terrific. I also made brussle sprouts with onions and little pieces of ham. Delicious, but I could only have a couple of brussle sprouts and about 1/2 of a small chicken breast. I was stuffed. I also made turkey sausage with onions and pepers. I did alright with about 1/2 of a sausage link, but the onions and peppers did not go down so well. Bell peppers have always given me indigestion, but I love them. I believe they are going to be on the "don't eat" list. Didn't agree with me at all. Edel enjoyed hers and mine as well. I also made a 13 bean soup with ham, tomatoes and onions. I made cornbread to go with the soup. While this also tasted so good, I could not eat it. Maybe too spicy. Edel also ate hers and most of mine and I sent the rest home with her. I made Edel a doctored up protein shake every morning while she was here. Chocolate protein powder, skim milk, banana, peanut butter and ice to make it thick. It was so good, but I couldn't drink it, I think because of the milk. I made my stomach hurt after only a couple of swallows. I think skim milk does not agree with me. I also tried some sugar free ice cream that made my stomach hurt, too. I love dairy products, but I think they are going on the "don't eat" list, too. Also, coffee with cream (even sugar free or fat free) didn't agree with me. I started using a protein powder that mixes well with water and it goes down better than the one I used skim milk. Isopure seems to be the protein powder that does best for me now.
So, after all that, my new years resolutions are to continue to eat good foods, drink more water (lots more) and go to the gym 3 times a week. Also, to be a kinder, more loving and forgiving person. Always less judgemental. Every day is a new learning experience as far as my new eating is concerned. I just have to do the work everyday.
I'll go into more detail next time about my fear of trying on new sizes. Seems silly, but it's real. I'd rather just wear baggy clothes that don't show off anything.
Happy New Year. This is going to be a great year for me and my new body. The issues that go along with getting smaller are going to be challenging, but I'll make it. I will.
Until next time,
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie
I went to my dear friends and adopted family, the Clark's, on Dec. 22 for their family celebration. There was lots of great foods but I tried to stay true to my diet. I did have roasted beets that where in a salad (I didn't eat the salad but picked out the beets) and they were delicious. I had a taste of a carrot souffle that was very good. I also had ham, brussle sprouts and asparagus. Sounds like a lot of food, but I only had a taste of all of them. Nothing sweet, but I did have some coffee with creamer which was also very good. I'm sure it was not fat free, but it did not upset my stomach. Next was Christmas day at my sister's house. I had ham again, a small amount of scalloped potatoes (again not fat free), baked beans and roasted califlower. No desserts again. Good for me! I felt like I ate too much, but I really think I was eating too fast because I had that stuck feeling in my chest. It goes away after a few minutes, but reminds me that I don't take enough time inbetween bites. I think I chew enough, but probably should be chewing more and swallowing less at a time. Anyway, survived the day and didn't eat supper that evening. I certainly didn't feel deprived in eating. The desserts didn't even appeal to me, because I don't want to get nauseated or have dumping syndrome (massive stomach cramps and diarrhea). Lastly, my friend Edel came on the 27th and stayed through New Years day. I cooked a lot more than I normally do and also different foods. One night I cooked baked chicken with fresh mushrooms and 98% fat free chicken cream soup. That was terrific. I also made brussle sprouts with onions and little pieces of ham. Delicious, but I could only have a couple of brussle sprouts and about 1/2 of a small chicken breast. I was stuffed. I also made turkey sausage with onions and pepers. I did alright with about 1/2 of a sausage link, but the onions and peppers did not go down so well. Bell peppers have always given me indigestion, but I love them. I believe they are going to be on the "don't eat" list. Didn't agree with me at all. Edel enjoyed hers and mine as well. I also made a 13 bean soup with ham, tomatoes and onions. I made cornbread to go with the soup. While this also tasted so good, I could not eat it. Maybe too spicy. Edel also ate hers and most of mine and I sent the rest home with her. I made Edel a doctored up protein shake every morning while she was here. Chocolate protein powder, skim milk, banana, peanut butter and ice to make it thick. It was so good, but I couldn't drink it, I think because of the milk. I made my stomach hurt after only a couple of swallows. I think skim milk does not agree with me. I also tried some sugar free ice cream that made my stomach hurt, too. I love dairy products, but I think they are going on the "don't eat" list, too. Also, coffee with cream (even sugar free or fat free) didn't agree with me. I started using a protein powder that mixes well with water and it goes down better than the one I used skim milk. Isopure seems to be the protein powder that does best for me now.
So, after all that, my new years resolutions are to continue to eat good foods, drink more water (lots more) and go to the gym 3 times a week. Also, to be a kinder, more loving and forgiving person. Always less judgemental. Every day is a new learning experience as far as my new eating is concerned. I just have to do the work everyday.
I'll go into more detail next time about my fear of trying on new sizes. Seems silly, but it's real. I'd rather just wear baggy clothes that don't show off anything.
Happy New Year. This is going to be a great year for me and my new body. The issues that go along with getting smaller are going to be challenging, but I'll make it. I will.
Until next time,
woof, meow and xoxo from Bonnie
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