I can't remember if I mentioned last time that a lots of foods were making me nauseated or gave me a stomach ache, diarrhea or a just plain icky feeling. I know that when Edel was here, I was cooking more combination foods, rather than just one ingredient meals and they didn't seem to agree with me. Over the last couple of weeks my nausea got worse. It was all the time and not just after I ate something. I called my surgeon and was told that some people has a lot of nausea and was prescribed Reglan. It's a miracle drug or I was just sick with a bug for a couple of weeks. I think it might have been a little of both. Week before last, I got got very dizzy. I imagined that my eyes were going around in circles like in a cartoon. I cancelled an appointment with my therapist one day, but then the next I woke up feeling some better. I had an appointment with my oral surgeon in Atlanta. I decided I felt up to going. Big mistake. I got so nauseated on the way home. I was so dizzy. I shouldn't have been driving, but kept thinking I just needed to get home and I would be fine. I had to stop several times to either stick my head out the window or just close my eyes for a few minutes. Without going into more gory details, I did arrive safely home. For the next week, I continued with the nausea and dizziness. Miserable feeling. I didn't even want to drink or take my medicine and I'm pretty sure I was dehydrated. I learned 2 important things from this. If you are that sick, call a friend or go to the hospital - and don't drive in that condition. It really was foolish of me. I probably needed to get some IV fluids, too. Anyway, I am feeling so much better. I am still taking the Reglan because I was nauseated on a low level all the time before all this other happened. Evidently, having gastric bypass affects everybody differently. I have a couple of friends of friends on facebook and I belong to a forum for weight loss surgery who all have different stories, and symptoms to tell. I was thinking I had made the biggest mistake - that I could not live with this nauseated and being this dizzy all the time. Thankfully, I am symptom free at the moment and I'm feeling pretty good.
By no means was this weight loss surgery a free ride. I have to watch so carefully what I eat or I will get sick or be miserable, and wish I was sick. So far, I have not been all that hungry, but I understand that hunger pangs do come back (whether they are in my stomach or in my head). I know I have felt like I wanted to eat pasta - and I did. The problem with this is that my little stomach will not hold the same amount that my mind tells me I can have. I did not get sick and vomit, but for about 15 minutes I wished I had never put that pasta in my mouth. It felt stuck in the middle of my chest and actually hurt because it would not go down. I think I am getting lactose intolerant. Milk and ice cream do not agree with me, but fat free cheese seems to be ok. I think I have mentioned that if you eat concentrated sugar, your body will rebel and go into something called dumping syndrome. That is severe stomach and chest pains, intense nausea and massive diarrhea. I have yet to experience this and hope I never do. The fear of it certainly keeps me from eating candy or anything else high in sugar. Some foods give you terrible and very smelly gas. Lovely, huh! Just because my stomach is much smaller does not give me a license to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. There is a price to pay. My choices of food is no different than any other dieter. I can choose the continue to eat unhealthy and can stretch my new little stomach back out - not to mention the sickness, and even as far as death that can occur. Or, I can decide to use this tool for the good and begin a new healthy life. I choose the latter.
I just recently saw a fellow traveler on this journey and she told me I needed to change my profile picture on facebook. That I didn't look like that old picture anymore. I know I have lost weight. The scales say it. My clothes say it, and I can see results when I look in the mirror. But, and this is a big deal, my mind does not see what other people see. I mentioned last time that I was having a problem wanting to try on smaller sizes. I don't want to be disappointed if I try something on and it doesn't fit. My old clothes are baggy and comfortable and as an overweight person, that feels good. I did buy a smaller (4 sizes smaller) pair of pants and a new bra, only because the cup was so big it folded over on itself. Other than that, I'm waiting. I tell myself that I'm being practical because I won't stay in these sizes, but I know there is more. You will have to stay tuned for that. I'm working with my therapist on these issues, plus more. My body image has been so distorted for so long. I know, but then I don't know, that I am not a number on the scales. This is hard work.
About changing my picture. I have gotten so many compliments on how different or good I look. And that's at a 68 pound loss. I have so much more to lose. Those comments (your comments) have been wonderful to read and make me feel so good. I am even more determine to continue my journey and be successful. Again and again, thank you for your support of me.
Until next time,
Phoebe sends a very loud "WOOF", Hannah and Houdini send their best "Meows" and Bonnie sends her love and appreciation xoxoxo
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