Cpap......the real story

I'm sure you all have been waiting with bated breath to hear about my first c-pap experience.  Well, here it is...the real story.

First of all, for those of you who are saying, "what the hell is a c-pap and why is she making such a big deal about it",  I will explain.  C-pap stands for continuous positive air pressure.  Another word I might need to explain is apnea.  That means you stop breathing for a period of time.  Not a long period because that would mean death, which would be a whole other story.  Usually, you stop breathing for a few seconds.  There are a couple of reason for this.  Most of the time there is some kind of obstruction in your throat, like big tonsils or adnoids or even a large uvula.  That's the thing that hangs down in the the middle of your throat.  Uvula is not to be confused with vulva.  That is in a completely other part of your body.  I only say this because I had someone call her uvula her vulva.  I was certainly confused for a moment until I figured out she was confused with the names of her body parts.  Any, I digress.... where was I?  The reason for apnea.  Another reason can be excess fat around your neck and chin. Not all people with this dilema have sleep apnea but, being overweight makes you at high risk.  The last reason is something called central apnea.  Your brain actually tells your body to stop breathing.  This is my problem.  Obviously, I have a defective brain and who know why this happens, but it does. Anyway, when any of these things cause the apnea, your body usually wakes you up and says, "hey, stop that and start breathing again!".  It needs oxygen for it to keep working properly.  So, in this case, your body is your best friend.  Sometimes, all your body needs is something to keep your airway open and this positive air pressure is just the thing.  This machine gives you a continuous flow of air into your nostrils to keep your airway open.  Thus, continuous positive air pressure.  That is the end of this lesson for today.

Now that you know what c-pap means, it will help you understand the rest of the story.  I went to pick up my c-pap machine yesterday morning and get instructions on how to use it.  I won't go into more detail, but to say that the respiratory therapist told me that I have small nostrils and a small face.  I only mention this because nobody has ever called any part of my body small.  I was excited all day because of this new information that this kind woman named, Peggy, told me.  Peggy the respiratory therapist is my new best friend.  I wear a small mask.  Yahoo!  None of that information was really necessary for you to know, butI want to tell a complete story.  There are a lot of different kinds of masks, which I will not go into a lot of detail because this story is getting too long already.  You need to have one that fits your face properly and the continuous air flow cannot seep out of around the mask.  Let me move on to my experience with this machine last night.

I actually remembered how to set the machine up last night which was a major plus.  There is a long hose that pulls the humidified air to your face.  This is where my concern with the kitties come in.  They love to chew on things.  I am convinced that they are part piranha.  They, however, left it alone, but I'm not sure they can be trusted to leave it alone when I am not around, so when not in use, I will keep it out of sight.  They were confused by this contraption on my face.  Houdini kept walking around my head, while Hannah just sat and stared at me.  This went on for what seemed like a long time.  Anyway, they finally settled down and went to sleep.....unlike me.  I know I slept some, but I was constantly aware of this foreign thing on my face.  I have been told by many that you get used to it.  We shall see.   I managed to keep it on for 5 hours which I thought was remarkable.  You may applaud for me here.....thank you.  I was told that I have to use the machine for at least 4 hours a night for it to count as me using it properly.  Since I want to be compliant, I did just that and more.  Hooray for me.  I'm probably going to get sleepy later on because of my interrupted sleep, but I love a good nap.

I have to use this machine for 3 weeks at 4 hours a night for it to count and then the pulmonologist will sign off on me to have the surgery.  I will, however, continue to use this handy machine for as long as they say I need it.  I have been told that having the gastric bypass surgery and losing a lot of weight will sometimes correct this problem.  But, since it is my brain that is causing me to stop breathing (central apnea), I don't know that it will.  We will see about that.  So, stay tuned.